I hate to admit this, but I see it more often then not. I am generally called in to give Feng Shui perspectives on homes for couples. In years past the husbands were not home or made themselves scarce but now they WANT to hear and sit in on the consultations.
Often times there are disputes about what should go where, what kind of furniture will be purchased, how a home will be decorated and in what style. And for some reason, when it's "home turf," the husbands always lose out---they don't get a say in colors to paint, furniture (or the way it is set up), any "decorating" decisions in the home. I know I may get some flack over this, but I have to tell you, they are quite resentful; and rightly so I believe. They live there too but women truly do Rule the Roost!
And some of these lovely couples, without realizing it, put me in the middle. I stop them as soon as I see this is happening and give them a Feng Shui Perspective, telling them I do NOT take sides (this I learned the hard way, years ago). But I do say this as well:
A HOME is your oasis, it is SHARED space and should be loved by BOTH of you. Really, he might have an old, tired, ugly lounger that makes him happy---let him keep it as much as you don't like it, Ladies! It's out of place, takes up too much room and doesn't go with the decor at ALL but it may be loved. These are not what arguments should be about. Your home doesn't have to rate a perfect scale of 10 in beauty but it DOES have to feel good for BOTH of you. Share the decisions about everything in it and watch him really be happy to get home at night!
There are a lot of guys out there with inner designers just bursting to get out!
In my family we have three... when my dad starting letting his flair shine, we nicknamed him "Mr. Yvonne" because this was a side of him we had never even imagined existed -- surely it must be some French alter ego that possessed him... it was certainly not something we had any idea he was capable of... till he was brave enough to express his opinions, and we were shocked to find out he had great taste!
Well along came my younger brother with an eye for designer touches even Mr Yvonne had never believed possible, and walking into his home (which he decorated while his girlfriend wasn't even living there!) is like walking into a style magazine.
And now I come to find myself engaged to a third member of this strange species. My fiance has fantastic inspiration about what should go where and which colors to incorporate. I have to admit he shames me in the decoration department.
So my advice is this: let your men, or your clients' men, DO THEIR THING. Sit back and relax (or hover subtly). They probably have talents you never dreamed of. It may take the form of a small detail or it may transform an entire room, but my hats are off to these guys who are embracing their "feminine" sides and running with it. How often do we complain about how we never get any help around the house, ladies? We should let them help if they're so inclined!
Hey Carole
This is a great post, but I don't think men care too much about the decor. Well, then again my old boss PICKS OUT EVERYTHING in his house, HIS WIFE had no say. My husband tells everyone he does the construction and I do the decorating. I COULD LIVE WITH THAT
Phyllis Pafumi
Hey Carole, great post as always, LOL, I am not a decorating guy too, I do not care too much about that, I prefer that women do it for me. :)