On a recent Feng Shui Consultation on Long Island I was asked a question by my clients that I have been asked over and over in the past....Most people that call me in for a consultation are particularly sensitive to ENERGY. The FEEL it and it causes great distress. They feel it in their co-workers, their "friends" and even their own family.
This Feng Shui Consultation was in the lovely town of Huntington Long Island New York where the couple has purchased a lovely, small home that they adored. They had brought the furniture and accessories from their previous home and had decided for now to keep it while eventually incorporating new pieces when they could afford it.
I liked the way they had temporarily set it up...it allowed a good flow of Energy into the space, kept their health area clear and we discussed what the home WAS lacking which were the elements. We also discussed the types of furniture she should look for when she is able to afford new items. She specifically asked me about a glass table and in her particular space, in my opinion, a round glass table would give the room a more open and airy feeling then the heavy furniture they currently owned.
Some of her questions were so specific, I finally had to ask WHY she was asking them. She then told me that her family was extremely critical of the way she had placed her furniture---which was just the beginning. Her family was actually very critical of EVERYTHING, she said, from her job to her marriage. It was causing her such emotional unhappiness, I asked her to back off a bit from them.
It isn't easy to tell my clients this, particularly when it's family but sensitive people can become PHYSICALLY sick when they are surrounded by negative energy...and nothing is more important then your health. We enhanced her CAREER area to help her find a different position as well to get her out of her job and into a better atmosphere.
It's sad to say that some people are going to be critical of you no matter WHAT you do. And it seems to become worse when they see they can have quite an effect on you. You must take your life and control back from these people. Unfortunately, with family is can be more difficult but not impossible. You are simply less available. After a while, you may notice a shift-they are so happy when they finally DO see you, they stop criticizing and are just happy to have you around.
If any of you are experiencing these feelings from others, take a well needed step back. Don't fall into the ‘guilt' people are happy to throw our way. Your INACTION, in this case, becomes ACTION and gives you your power back, something you never want to lose.
Copyright A Feng Shui Consultation in Huntington Long Island New York by Carole Provenzale-Feng Shui Long Island & New York
**Carole Provenzale has been a Certified Feng Shui Consultant since 1997 and is the Founder of Feng Shui Long Island. Along with Feng Shui Consultant Laura Cerrano, on site Feng Shui Consultations provided for New York City (Manhattan) and all of Long Island for Homes, Apartments, Businesses, Corporations, Renovations and New Construction. Workshops and lectures are also provided for small and large groups and companies. Distance Consultations always available as well. Please visit http://www.FengShuiLI.com
hi Carole!
How true....I know that I have to be very careful myself of not taking on the energy that other people sometimes put out. I find if I stay positive and refuse to NOT be me, then they eventually accept that if I'm happy with who I am and intend on staying who I am, then they will be too. Besides, if they want me in their life they have no choice! ((-:
I heard an interesting quote today 'Men marry a woman hoping she'll never change, and women marry a man hoping he will change'. hmmmm.....
I hope your client is doing better now since your consultation with her.....it's very good to limit our exposure to negative people, of course, sometimes we can turn them around and make them positive because they absorb some of OUR energy.
time for bed for me, I don't even know if I'm making sense anymore.
(((-:
Jo
Carole -- it is so important to not be around negative energy -- if one must be in that situation, then it is important to visualize an protective shield that will not let the energy penetrate.. I try to do this, but it can be a challenge with some people and some situations.
It is a sad day when loved ones are so overbearing that we need a "break" from them but this can certainly be the case sometimes. I always wish that we could just have a talk and fix it, but that does not work all the time. I have seen it in my own extended family from time to time too.
What a difference you make in peoples lives - it must feel so wonderful!
Carole, negative energy can wear you down emotionally in all of life. I'm sure she appreciated your honesty. I read a book a long time ago, called Boundaries, by Henry Cloud. I have had to do that with some of my non Realtor friends, every phone call wore me down. It was hard to back off, but it was the best thing to do.
Carole darling...you are soooooooo right! And, I think that we in the mortgage and real estate industry experience a LOT of that negative energy. We are the 'filter' for a lot of emotions from our clients...good and bad. It is not easy to continually face all of that stress and strain without having it impact our own outlook...and even our health. This is a good reminder for us to keep our worlds free of other peoples' emotional clutter.
It is good to be home!! GBU!!!
Carole - You gave superb advice to her beyond the normal. It definitely does affects ones health when they are surround by negative energy - I hope she is able to "take a break" as you suggested.
That old saying you can choose your friends but not your Family comes to mind - that's tough that they are so critical of her Carole because there are implied loyalties and societal expectations of love and respect among family members.
maybe if she backs away they will get the picture!
Last I checked - FURNITURE PLACEMENT was not high on the list of important things I want my family to remember I commented about to them.
I do want them to know and hear: I LOVE YOU, and Thank God for you in my life, as much as possible :)
sounds like she needed a HUG - glad you gave her verbal affirmation that her choices were GOOD.
Sincerely,
Grace
This is great advice. There is a dual saying that can be applied either way depending on the setting. The first is of course exactly as you say, "distance makes the heart grow fonder." The second is a bit harsher though it too can ring of truth, "out of sight, out of mind." I prefer to think that the two work quite well together as it is all a matter of perspective. The distance can encourage appreciation as can the realization that you have not been as available. I think that it is good to step back, take a deep breath and evaluate from time to time.