Years ago (and yes, still today on occasion) I will do a Feng Shui Consultation for someone for free. There are people that contact me that have very sad situations in their lives and simply can't afford to pay for one. Not being the "business-person" I should have become years ago and believing so strongly that Feng Shui CAN and WILL help them, I will do a full consult and not charge them.
Otherwise I charge what I believe to be below the regular "going rate" so that people from all situations can afford them. For that reason I may find myself in a Mansion on the North Shore of Long Island or a Corporation in New York to do a Feng Shui Consultation or I may find myself in an area locally where we are freezing because the owner can't afford to turn on the heat. They, too believe in Feng Shui and the power of changing your thinking and beliefs and changing some things or eliminating them from your environment to make you feel better and allow fresh, new Energy to come in-and it does!
While doing a paying customer recently by distance I didn't ask for the first part of my payment until after we had begun...half way through to be exact. So I would receive half the payment after the first half of the Consultation and the second half when we finished. Once I didn't get paid the second half. And it happened again recently (for which I've just changed my policy). I had not called the woman for payment but had emailed her....and got no response. I decided to let it go. While telling a friend about the situation she asked me why I gave up my power to other people.
It's funny that people who are close to you can see things in you that you don't. I do often give up my power because it is "easier" or I don't want to have an argument with someone. So I'll give into a situation. For the many of us that do that, it's time to stop giving up our power. Thinking about it later, I did in fact call the woman who had not paid me. While she made several excuses for it, I did end up getting the final payment.
How often, I wonder, do I do that without even realizing it? For me, I'm reclaiming something I never should have given away---my power in a situation. If someone is wrong, I will tell them. If they are unfair, if they've hurt my feelings I let them know. They may not necessarily WANT to know but then I believe, It's up to them whether or not to rectify the situation. I believe it's the best policy and if someone is REALLY your friend, they are going to listen, carefully, to what YOU have to say.
I'm sorry I learned this so late in life but better late then never. Believe me, I'm not looking for trouble but I am, finally, reclaiming my power.
**Carole Provenzale has been a Certified Feng Shui Consultant since 1997 and is the Founder of Feng Shui Long Island, New York providing Feng Shui Consultations for New York (Manhattan) and Long Island for Homes, Apartments, Condos and Studios, Businesses, Offices, Corporations, Renovations, Pre-Purchase and New Construction. Carole also does Feng Shui Distance consultations by phone and is a keynote speaker and published author.
Ahh yes... I have footprints on my back. Quiet, shy, non-confrontational me.... But something is changing inside me and I find myself standing up for myself more often than not. I have always stayed true to myself and what I believe in ~ I just kept quiet while doing it. Like you said it was just "easier".
Stay true to yourself Carole ~ you are amazing!
Joan, It's a shame it took me so long--ah, if only we had it to do over again. But at least I've learned....finally.
Joan, It's so good to hear I'm not alone :) I'm glad we "got it" even if we were a bit late.
Nancy, It took me a long time to be able to stop being unconfrontational even when it was called for; I will run from trouble but that's not the best way I don't believe. And it feels good to stand up for yourself when you have to :)
Christal, I hate conflict as well which is probably why it took me so long to speak about things that people don't want to hear.....but in a way I wasn't being fair to myself and it left behind hurt feelings. It was time to open up.
Missy, She is a true friend and when she has something to say, she's going to tell you, flat out.....which is probably what I like about her! We all need people like that, they actually make life better.
Hi Carole...we give up asking because it easy. You correct to pursue a client for payment, as you need to eat too, this is your career. As Realtors we have listing contracts, maybe work on having a contract signed before starting a consultation, with past clients you probably do not need to.
Cheers, have a great day!
Ugh. I do that too. I always undercharge or under-invoice my time. : ( Gotta get over that!
I just had a similar conversation with the woman who owns the tea and coffee shop in my office building. If you cater your event with her and you get the Federal Room (very nice) for no fee. But what finally occurred to her is that her catering fees are the best in town! And people were complaining! They wanted rebates because only 1/2 the people showed for the event. Wrong! She's dusting off the foot prints from her back as we speak.
I know a Realtor who sold her doctors house, she got both sides. The doctor asked for 1/2 the fee back because there was only one agent involved. But he had just delievered this agents twins. Her responce? One C-section 2 babies, she didn't get a rebate from him~
Besides people don't get any respect by discounting their fees, look at used car salesmen. Do they get the respect they deserve?
Rosario, It is a delicate balance, I agree with you and too often I was the one who always "let it go." It is long past time that I stopped doing that.
Fred, There's no getting around it, I did take the easy way. Which of course isn't the BEST way. I've always said people treat you the way you allow them to treat you and didn't always follow my own advice.
Chris, We ALL have to stop doing that, our time is as valuable as anyone elses. And it's long past time I stood up for myself in certain situations that I should have done years ago.
Dena, Thank you for relaying those stories, they certainly hit home. After years of avoiding conflict at all costs I now stand up for myself (one of those if I only knew then what I know now moments!)
Hi Carole,
Good for you! I'm so glad to hear this....
It's so important to express our feelings and not let resentment build up. I recently took a course in assertiveness and this is the number one thing they express....always speak up when the trespass first happens. This is for the benefit of both yourself and the person who's actions/words you were not happy with. It can save a relationship too.
Jo