Life is Not only Viewed in Black and White
Never Say NEVER. And Never Say ALWAYS. One thing I have learned in Feng Shui is to always look at things through different perspectives. There are so many ways to view things we quickly learned to see them ALL before making a decision. I found this applied to my life as well in learning to deal with anything that came up.
Some of us, unfortunately, do not see all of the possibilities. They view things are black or white and miss the beautiful and subtle colors that are may be just out of sight. If we look closer we can see more perspectives and possibilities then we ever imagined---and more solutions to dealing with anything that comes up.
I received an interesting email this morning from someone I do not know who had a question regarding a Feng Shui Perspective with Staging a home for sale. She said she was a strong proponent of always removing personal pictures when staging a home for sale. As I thought about it, I wrote her back that I would agree about 90% of the time. It brought to mind that I had in fact done a consultation for a client who had lined the walls of one particular room with beautiful family pictures that were taken all over the world. They were all inspiring and beautiful shots and it showed and emitted a wonderful energy that absolutely radiated through the home.
A few years later when the client was selling the home and preparing it for sale they were advised to remove the photos. Normally I would have agreed but I had been in that space and FELT that energy. While it may have been a bit distracting it was also a positive, driving force of the energy of that home. We are taught in Home Staging to declutter and depersonalize so a potential buyer can envision themselves in that space. It's usually best to do this but seeing this home from another perspective would be that a potential buyer would see the joy and happiness of this family and feel the wonderful energy and envision themselves enjoying that life as well. I advised them to leave the pictures up and explained why.
Needless to say, their Realtor wasn't very happy with this particular decision. Or me for that matter. It goes against what we are taught and I understood her point of view. She very reluctantly had the homeowners leave the pictures up and the home sold during the very first open house although we went against all the rules. It was someone much wiser then I who said "Rules were meant to be Broken" and Mentors who taught us to look at things in many different ways before coming to a decision. The more perspectives you have, the more ways you can see to look at things differently will help you a great deal whether you're staging a home for sale or setting the stage for your life. Remember to see all the "colors" in life to make the best possible decisions.
Carole- I agree with this so very much. Really I see rules as guidelines, they help to set the framework; but every situation is different and we gain so much more than we lose by considering all the possibilities. I too have on occasion advised photo's to be left up.
Jackie
Hard and fast rules, rule out most of what is real in life, limiting experience and possibility, seeming to be required however by those unable to 'see' the positive facets of the many gray areas....
hmm... I believe silver is a form of gray ......and, isn't that a helpful people color? Gray is very interesting being a combination of black (which absorbs all color) and white (reflects all colors) ........ yes you can find a lot in the gray - most of life is real there.......
Carole, I've been in a similar property where the personal photos were all works of art of the family members at their summer home, canoeing, studying nature, etc and the energy from the photos added immensely to the feel of the home.
There is a problem with family photos though....I go through so many homes on a weekly basis and I find that the ones who have left their family photos up, I end up taking note of as I love to look at them. They're a real distraction to myself, and also to the buyer, who should be sizing up the home and getting a feel for it as their own place.
The worst kinds are those standard 'canned' poses that Walmart or Sears or run-of-the-mill photography studios do and I find that wedding photos left hanging on walls of homes for sale, detract greatly from the saleability of the house.
I suppose it's the difference between 'art' and 'personal family photos'; there is a sizable difference, I've found.
You're completely right...never say never, and every situation is different.
Beautiful blog....
(-:
Jo
Great Post Carole - every situation is different - and so a sweeping or hasty generalization is always illogical :)
reminds me of a quote of a very closed minded person I read once =>
Everything that can be invented has been invented." - Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899
...LOL
Sincerely,
Grace Safrin
Carole, I still remember a lesson that Mr. "Tom" taught me those years ago, regarding perspective. He held up a red heart picture and told each of us in the room that we were all looking at the same picture, but seeing it from different angles.
Carole,
Funny, I just got scolded by a customer for saying never. I told them that their property was never going to sell at this price, and the fireworks started.
All things aside, I really enjoyed this post. Pften, we go into something with the wrong attitude and we pretty much know what the result is going to be.
I enjoyed your post.
Tom Braatz
What!? Me say "never"? NEVER! ; )
Great post and insight - as usual. Thanks!
Susan
Carole !!!
great points you bring. Im a firm believer that each space has to have adifferent approach. I think that if that room has a positive vibe as you witnessed yourself ! I dont think that there are rules written in stone !! We all have the gift of staging in many of us is inate. We usually have a good eye through the buyers eyes, perhaps that room with all the tastefully displayed pictures was key to make them feel like ...You know what ? this feels like "HOME".
My rules are always : There are no rules. I personally do my thing, artists dont usually like to be told how to do their work, cause most of the times we are free souls !
carole always go with your first gut instinct, its usually the right one
Hello Carole,
I have never been a black and white type person, I often say I am gray. I tend to be able to look at both side of most situations and see the merits and pitfalls of both sides. I believe that each situation has to be studied and treated individually just as you did with the photos. :0)
When I was younger I'm afraid I was very black and white...I think that can be chalked up to the certainty of youth? I really was a know it all!
I am pleased to say I have mellowed....my favorite word is "maybe"
A very thought provoking post Carole!
Carole.... wasn't that a James Bond movie? Seriously though, even though I can be stubborn or firm on some of my decisions, I do try to look at most things from all angles and perspectives. Good post.
Candy, Thank you for your comment. These pictures were beautiful and so full of happiness and beauty I wanted to move in. I know it goes against the rules but I believe this helped sell the house.
Adam, These pictures were like artwork as well but they weren't black and white. What they did do for the home was eminate the energy of it--my take on it was that a new potential owner would feel the happiness in that home (and I think they did :)
Jackie, I couldn't agree more, this was definitely the exception to the "rule." Some pictures are haphazard or not well presented, every one of these were a work of art.
Jo, If you had seen these photos you would have advised them the same way. I admit they ARE a distraction but they filled up that home in a way I haven't seen (or felt) before, they were just beautiful. BTW, the realtor has liked me since then :)
Sheron, I sometimes find it a shame that all traces of people and pets are removed....I understand the position on it but don't always agree with it either. This was a sizeable and expensive piece of Real Estate and they had at least two agents at all times to watch the people touring so that wasn't a worry.
Grace, I enjoyed your quote, thank you! I have heard this to be a hard and fast rule and yes, there are always exceptions--to everything :)
Nathan, Thank you for your comment and good point. I don't know if I could see things so many different ways without the training I've gotten and it has always helped me in life.
Ginger, Every once in a while my son will say "It'll never happen" and then it DOES--I love that! Thank you for your comment.
wonderful advice. My mother had a home in Miami Florida. In and around her yard, she had orange trees, kumquats, loquats, tangarines, grapefruit, mango, lemons, limes and a gigantic gardenia tree almost 1.5 stories high and over 140' in girth (oh how I loved those gardenias).
Hurricane Andrew came along and her yard was devasted. The only tree remaining was the gardenia. I asked Mom, why did the gardenia remain standing. She said, "it bent in the wind."
Deborah, I forgot all the beautiful shades of gray. Things are so often so subtle that some people don't see them. I love trying to look at things from all different angles, it helps.
Julie, Thank you so much. I agree, there are only so many things you can learn from books. I always have continued mentoring and learning with a variety of people and that has helped me very much. When I stop learning I'm stagnant.
Terry, Thank you for your comment. I think it's wonderful that you check the demographics for the area you are staging, it's not something I thought of. In this part I believe we have a serious shortage of Condos and when one comes on the market it's sold. But other areas I've read about have a lot more....so thank you for the lesson, it would be a better way to help people sell.
Tom, Sorry to hear you had a few fireworks. I know some people are unrealistic on the selling prices of their homes....sorry to say after it's been on the market for awhile they seem to realize that prices have dropped. Thank you for your comment.
Sally, You are so right about an open mind....and thinking out of the box. I'm glad the realtor has confidence in me now, I think she's a lot more open and that's a wonderful thing.
OK, SUSAN, I'm spilling it :) I want to thank you for the email, see, it inspired a whole post! I'm glad you found it!
Karen, It sounds like your father was very wise. I am trying to teach my children to keep looking at things from different ways because I believe it will help them in life. Thank you for your comment.
Kathy, That's so funny, I had a teacher one year and we were NEVER allowed to say the word CAN'T. That was so many years ago in grade school and your comment just made me remember it.....she was a good teacher :)
Fernando, You are SO right about artists, I have a daugher who's one. Sounds like you don't like your creativitiy stopped in any way and that will always set you apart---Rules were truly meant to be broken.
Cynthia, I see many people who can't see the shades and I think it's a shame, they are missing SO much I believe.
Diane, I love it that you FEEL the energy as well. I can sense it as soon as I step into a place and it is definitely the energy it gives off. Everything has energy and I'm surprised some people don't feel it but I think it's more that they are concentrating on so many other things. Thank you for your comment.
Joan, Funny, I can't remember if I was one of those black and white persons but I believe I was as well. It certainly would have helped at a younger age to be able to see things with a bunch of different perspectives.
Teri, Thank you for sharing that, I'm glad you can see beyond the pictures to actually feel them. I'm sure they were doing the same thing, filling the home with positive energy. It's FEELINGS that sell a home.
Jeff, I haven't watched any James Bond movies--I don't know, am I quoting BOND :)? Some things I am stubborn on as well but only after viewing everything from different perspectives. Thank you for your comment.
Cheryl, I too would like to see, on occasion, a lived in (although not unclean) home. But buyers really can't "see" themselves in that type of home. I think we could look past that but I'm not sure most people would. Interesting point of view, I really enjoyed it.
Carole - never and always are absolutes. And the one sure thing (absolutely) in this world is that there are no absolutes.
I prefer primarily and possibly. They leave me room to flex and grow.
To paraphrase a quote, "an OPEN mind is a terrible thing to waste"! Looking at things from different perspectives is always--oops--I mean usually a good thing!
Kim Dillon, Creative Eye Home Staging
Lori, These photos were so beautiful and filled with LIFE, my thought was that other people would feel that energy. I do not usually recommend family pictures up either when selling but these were truly unique. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.
Carol, I ABSOLUTELY agree with you :) Funny that it happnes to be one of my favorite words.....I'm goiing to have to add "primarily" and "possibly" to my list.
Betty, I think it might be rare to see these photos which actually were works of art as well as some beautiful energy but that email made me stop and think....and it was a good reminder. If YOU feel good from it, others will as well. Thanks so much for your comment.
Maureen, Thank you for sharing that Ophrah show, I didn't see it . Most of the time I love Nate's work, I think he is pretty amazing in some of the things he comes up with. I know it's been said over and over to depersonalize and I generally agree but not in this case. Thank you for your comment.
Kim, I love your quote! I can add "A creative mind is a terrible thing to waste." Both seem to fit :) I think everyone has their own style and I never was one for following rules :) Thank you for stopping in and commenting.
I had a child (my 2nd) who learnt the word no early in life (probably by 6 months!) practiced it faithfully, graduating to NEVER, NOT, NOPE, and repetitive NO's! As a teenager, her immediate response to any suggestion was a negative - causing hours of frustration for our family. Roller-blading... NO... Swimming ... NO... walk in the Park.... NO ... I finally tired of her negative response and attempts to alter her vision, realizing that perhaps some personalities start first with NEVER... and NEVER change.
She now works in the hospitality field ... and is being taught to say YES to customer demands ... but amazingly enough ... she continually brings home stories of frustration over having to comply with requests.... when she feels the answer is a black and white... NEVER!!
Interesting blog, Carole. There are exceptions to every rule, and I agree that life's lessons soften the black and white into a more mellow gray.
Kathy
Sharon, What an interesting story....funny how people change, isn't it? Both my kids went through that "NO" phase but thankfully got over it. She's learning that the customer is always right (even when they're not :) Thanks for your comment.
Dan, Very well put :) I should have used that for the blog title. Thank you for your comment.
Kathy, Thank you for your comment. I wonder about some of the things we are taught and teachers can sometimes not see other aspects. I think this was a good case in point, some pictures that are really unique and beautiful can do a lot for a home.
Miss Carole --
Last year I was called to evaluate for listing a beautiful home that would eventually go on the market for between $2 million and $2.5 million. Someone had beat me there...another Realtor...and it was very obvious.
The home had been totally decorated and furnished by a professional. You could tell which bedrooms were for girls and which ones were for boys. And you could tell, of course, the master bedroom. But other than that, this place looked as if no one had ever lived there, never mind that the closets were full of clothes.
I asked the owner why there were no family pictures displayed. She said she had been told to remove them. I said, well put them back up. She said, "No." I said, "You'll need to give the listing to the Realtor who told you to remove the pictures. I won't be able to sell it like this," and I tried to cautiously explain why. She didn't want to hear it, so I turned it down.
She gave it to the other Realtor. For just shy of a year they tried to sell the house, sans pictures. Not wanting to cry "uncle" the owner finally took it off the market and decided to rent it to her sister. By the way, not only had it not sold but there had been no offers.
Clutter needs to be removed or at least kept to a minimum, but a home must always look like those who live there love it and enjoy it and have made it HOME.
GREAT POST!
Your friend,
Bill
I have to say I thought I was going to be "shot down" by this post! I am thrilled so many people don't see things as just one way or adhere to everything they've been taught.
Ines, Thank you for your comment. I do see things from many perspectives as well but on important principles, I am NOT flexible. The wrong placement of mirrors, for example can sometimes wreck havoc. I am a stickler for certain principles as well!
Penny, I didn't question this decision although I did think about it carefully. There is no subsitute for a "feeling" and good energy is what these photographs showed. I know the buyers felt it as well. Thank you for your comment.
Michelle, Thank you for your kind comment. I don't like going against a Realtor's advice but in this case the client called me and I was giving my honest opinion. There was another home I did where the clients were advised to remove ALL pictures and anything of color. The house was stark WHITE and I found everything she had taken down (which left holes in the walls!) and had her put some back up and to bring the color back in. They got an offer not long after that and although it wasn't accepted, it was the first offer they'd had in eight months.
Bill, Wonderful story and thank you for sharing it. I'm sorry you didn't get the listing, I am betting the home would have sold. If you depersonalize EVERYTHING you are removing ALL energy--one of OUR reasons why vacants are so difficult to sell. Thank you for your comment.
Katerina, This was definitely one of those exceptions. We often miss the subtle shadings because some of us are not taught to think that way. With you knowing Feng Shui I can only imagine how fast your listings go! As for your latest post, I can only say a huge congratulations!!
Donna, I was always taught to think "outside the box." Many people don't like it because they have ways of doing things and can't see other perspectives. This is one of the primary reasons Feng Shui is so confusing, we ALL have different perspectives on things and the books can be very contradictory. Thank you for your comment.
Carole,
Well put. Rules are just general guidelines and they are made to be broken. I often advise my clients to gather all of their personal pictures and display them in one area. it shows the life and love of family without being a distraction.
We're going for clean and un-cluttered not sterile and void of emotion.
Carole - I just have to mention what you wrote in your first line...you will be blown away...here it is:
One thing I have learned in Feng Shui is to always look at things through different perspectives.
Wow, I missed a few comments, I'm so sorry!
Sheron, I know you can see many perspectives but there are RULES and these thoughts are outside the rules...although I know if people felt the energy in there, they'd agree to leave them up.
Stephen, There was definitely a warmth in that area and you could feel it the minute you walked in. I know it may have been distracting for a few minutes but believe people could envision themselves living a happy, wonderful life too.
Marzena, This is an old post, I'm surprised you found it! That home had wonderful energy, one of the few homes I've been in that absolutely goes against the rules of home staging.
If personal pictures bring in good energy of family, I am for leaving some around. I do not take every picture out. One or two pictures in a living room are not going to break a sale. Especially if the house shows well from the first moment a potential client walks through the door.