It was the BEST of Times and it was the WORST of Times. I heard this recently from a Realtor I know and knew exactly what she was talking about. Many people are saying this right now, Realtors, Mortgage Brokers, Builders...the list goes on. And one Feng Shui consultant from Long Island.
Putting the worst FIRST has always been a good idea; I can leave everything on a positive note. My house is still not yet again my HOME. My own once beautiful, wonderful OASIS is still leaking. I feel almost as if I have been a victim of a "hit and run." And know that if I had taken my usual steps to be careful and check someone out, this would not have happened. I forget and I trust because that is my nature---it is almost inconceivable to me that not only did I sub scum to one apparently great salesman, I fell for all that "Daler" stuff. As we are both from Farmingdale, of COURSE he was going to do the right thing. Funny that their motto is "We will leave you satisfied." Really? When I called him the morning after the rain to tell him I suspected it was still leaking he called me "neurotic." Fortunately, a wonderful woman who has been helping me through this did not think I was; she came to check with a meter. The walls were in fact wet. When I called him back he (despite the meter test) denied it! And has not returned my calls or come back since.
A day late and thousands of dollars short I did what I should have done to begin with: I googled him. And what I found on him was NOTHING. No name, no address, nothing..... I am very fortunate that I believe so strongly in the Universal Law of "What Goes Around, Comes Around." For so many years I have heard horror stories from my clients in dealing with contractors. It almost seems to be rampant here and I should have known better. Now I do.
Starting all over I felt overwhelmed. It occurred to me the other night at 3am as I was wondering what to do, I needed to step back. I was too close to the situation. I usually ask people "What would you tell your best friend to do?" Sometimes stepping back and getting out of the picture is the only way to see the WHOLE picture. And now I am starting to see what to do and how to do it. It will get done.
Then I had the "business" side of life. This was a week of call-backs from clients I haven't heard from and wondered how they were doing. One call came early in the morning and my client (who during the consultation did not seem very interested and did not like the ideas I was suggesting) called to tell me she did in fact make many changes. Some very big jobs had come her way and she said she knew it was from Feng Shui. What a delight!
Better yet was an email from a client. One of her issues that saddened her greatly was that her son had moved out at age 15 to go live with her ex. I felt for her so much, my son had done exactly the same thing for a short spell at exactly the same age. His room was being taken over by his sisters and had gotten cluttered and messy. I did suggest more work in his room then I normally would because I felt he would realize when he stopped in how much he was wanted back. The email read, in part, "I thought you would like to know my son moved back home and I have you to thank for that; it wouldn't have happened without you."
Lastly, a consultation I did---with a mortgage broker at his office. Times are hard and he told me about closing offices, letting people go and he was trying to stay positive. I asked him about his employees and just by him speaking about each one you could tell the genuine caring he had for each and every one of them. While sitting in one of the spaces and speaking, I could also hear bursts of laughter on occasion from his employees. The Wealth area of the office was unoccupied (empty) and had become "storage central." I did not feel he should move from his present position but needed someone with some very good energy in that spot and needed it cleaned out. Interestingly, one of his employees had asked to be placed there and he asked me to see what I thought when I went to meet him.
Walking into the owner's office he had on his wall a large picture---one of those beautiful pictures with an inspirational word. Except his word was "Challenge." When he saw me looking at it he said that's what he faces every day, challenges. I asked him to replace it with something POSITIVE. Find Abundance, Prosperity, JOY but not challenges! We finished his office and went out to meet the employees. They were quite taken with Feng Shui after I explained a bit about it---except for ONE. I notice there is always ONE person in any given room who will ignore the talk and continue to work or worse, yawn through the whole thing. It used to throw me, now I let it go.
I found one lady to be what I thought of as the "heart" of the office and assigned her as general decorator. Since each of the six employees was so interested, I asked them ALL to do some special things from a Feng Shui perspective and explained why...and they "GOT IT." When I explained about the intensified Energy from all of them contributing, they got that as well. Funny, even the ONE stopped working and began listening. I was able to make many suggestions and the person who was to go in the Wealth area was a true bright spot, full of energy and enthusiasm. Enough to wake that area right up! They are all going to decorate their areas and watch The Secret. Yes, it's a business that right now has it's "challenges" but I have the feeling they're going to be just fine.
Sometimes the only way to see the Whole picture is to step back, remove yourself from it. When YOU are so deeply involved, your emotions get in the way of making rational decisions. More life lessons learned, this time WELL learned.
Carole: I love your story--and your graphic. Wouldn't it be cool if life really did offer:
1. Easy Buttons
2. Back Space Buttons
LOL!
Hi Carole !
It sounds like your week of dealing with the disappointments with your house is being balanced out somewhat by such positive feedback from your clients.....this is wonderful news and your post sounds very happy and upbeat.
I look forward to hearing about what you've decided to do about the water situation and I'm horrified at the treatment this contractor has given you.
I use detachment a lot too; whenever I am dealing with something that is really difficult and I can't seem to make any headway. Oftentimes sleeping on it is just the right thing to do....our subconscious mind works on it during the night and we wake up with the answer.
Jo (comment word is 'che')
Always turning negative to positive...how wonderful life is...when you're in the world!
Hello Carole,
I am so sorry to hear that you are still having leaking problems in your home but it does sound like you are on the right track now.
I agree that when we are caught up in a situation it is very difficult to look at it objectively. Taking a step back and trying to look at it from a different point of view is wise. I sometimes write down the pros and cons, it just helps to have it on paper.
It is very rewarding and satisfying when our clients are pleased and appreciate our efforts and being on the receiving end of that this week was just what you needed and deserved.
Carole...you are like a gentle sprite traveling around with a basket of light...handing out beams wherever you go!
I can certainly see why you are so good at what you do!
(Go get that guy girl!!)
Carole - It's very difficult when we have an emotional tie to a project/item. Just makes things so much more difficult when it comes to being objective. I have been known to pick up my keys, drive around for a couple hours and when I come back I can almost instantly resolve whatever issue was on the table.
I hope your issues get resolved soon. You have the energy to be the winner. :)
Carole ~ I hope you are on the way to a solution to your water leaking problems.
I wholeheartedly agree with having to take a step back and remove your emotions from what is going on. It can be hard to do that in many instances, but sometimes that is the only way to move forward with whatever the situation - selling your house, resolving a conflict, etc.
I enjoyed readng about your clients and am happy that things are working out for them. The mortgage broker seems like such a nice person that I hope his office follows your advice and he gets what he is looking for.
Carole - It is a sad when we put our trust in someone and they turn out to be a con artist. Maybe they prey on the good people like you, or maybe they are just very good at convincing people they have integrity and your best interest at heart.
You are the one with integrity! You see the good in people, which is hard to do after being taken in by a crook.
I just lost all my comments---in spite of reading numberous posts on how NOT to :) I think I'll do segments of five :)
Missy, Thank you for stopping by and commenting. It was the best thing I could do to see the whole picture which is just too difficult when your're in the middle of something.
Roberta, It's funny, I have seen those buttons at Staples. They just might make a good motivational tool...you're "Intentionally" making it easy so that's the way it will go :) Thank you for stopping by and commenting.
Lazarus, Thank you for the link. There is no question I should have known better and checked him out. Still, my clients have told me they have checked out their contractors and still had some terrible issues. I think referrals are a good way to go as well, it's likely if someone did a wonderful job for someone else they will do one for you, too. Thank you again!
Jo, It certainly WAS a balance, I wonder if those clients know what they do for me when they are kind enough to get back to me with some wonderful news---but I think they hear it in my voice, I am almost as happy as they are! As for the home, one of the licensed people that I called actually knew my father and his family :) --- which happens to be the SECOND person in two weeks who knew my dad. I liked his information and just hired him. (And I KNEW there was a reason I never changed my name :)!
Lisa, Thank you! The week ended up being a balance, at least the Yin/Yang is going ok :) I love to end on the positive but I always love "Happy Endings" in movies, too :)
Sally, Was that a guess that Elton John was and still is one of my all time favorites? I still have his old, original albums, they are precious to me. And went to visit his famous RED Piano when it was on display in NYC---thanks for a beautiful line (and touching off some really FUN memories!)
Cynthia, I was horrified to see what you've been through; I know exactly how I would feel. I would go on and post later about having installed every security system I could think of....And I sure hope you get some really good news this week so you have a balance as well...Good luck, I am thinking of you.
Joan, The Maven, You are so sweet! I fortunately don't have to go after this guy at all...things will come back around to him sooner or later in one way or another. Which is wonderful to know so I can just move forward!
Betty, I don't know what "Holmes on Homes" is, I am going to Google it and see what I can find. The Secret is wonderful, it's Feng Shui Principles. We already knew the "Secret" but we call it Intention while they call it The Law of Attraction. There is a group on here called The Secret you might like.
Carol, Thanks for the vote of confidence, it means a lot. It was the best thing I could do (which is not to say that it was easy, I am SO connected with my home). But I needed to be objective and detaching and stepping out of the situation is the best way to look at it.
Ginger, Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I took a few days to myself and am sure things will turn around---I am intending on the BEST possible people to come into my life but won't be so quick to be fooled again, either.
Robert, You're too funny, punt is exactly what I did for a day or two. And then got back to moving but your comment certainly got a laugh from me, thank you for it!
Kathy, Thank you for your comment. These clients make me feel wonderful and I hope I let them know it. I know that this market is challanging for everyone but I honestly think things will change for this Morgage Broker and I know he will implement the changes, as well as the staff. COMBINED energy for the best possible results, I look forward to his follow up and will let you know.
Teri, Some of the best lessons are learned the hard way, those are the ones we absolutey don't forget. I'm sorry about your issues but glad to hear they were resolved. I am being as careful as I can be and that's all I can do and things will be resolved sooner or later (my INTENT of course is sooner :)
Candy, It's always been a problem with me, I should have learned years ago, I just trust people. And have been told over and over it's not a good way to be but I find it almost impossible to change my personality....although I do learn lessons and this was a valuable one! Thanks for all your support.
Julie, Thank you for your kind words. Is Feng Shui popular in Utah? Perhaps the Secret would be a good place for people to start, for some reason there are many misconceptions about Feng Shui which is such a shame. I am going to end up fixing this basement and find it much easier being detached from it at the moment!
Adam, I agree, the people on this site are absolutely priceless! So are my clients. I've learned a new lesson and am moving on :) I realize no matter who I decide to go with it can still go either way, I am just intending on finding the absolute BEST!
I join with you in heart and mind, in intention and focus:
I once lived in a house that was prone to seepage because of a nearby stream that overfilled in the spring. It flooded to varying degrees several times before it was finally fixed properly. I'd years previously noticed that my basement seemed representative of my 'under' life - those places inside only accessible by me - much of it unconscious. I came to realize that I just had to look at my basement to tell me what to look for inside.
"Do you need to cry?" people were asking me. "I'm fine" I would say, "except this water mess with no adequate help is stressing me!" But the question got bigger and louder until I became fully aware of the wall inside holding back my 'water' - then the dam broke loose. My house had been mirroring my own interior.
I eventually got the problem solved and the basement renovated without further problem.
Here's to you Little Fire Walker!
Great thoughts Carole. There are always silver linings to clouds. One person's challenge is another's opportunity. It's all how you see things.
A satirical view of all those inspirational posters can be found at this site. Enjoy:
http://www.despair.com/
Great trun-around story...
good post!
take care and good luck to you!
Deborah, What an absolutely beautiful comment and picture. I absolutely relate my home to my life very closely but I have to say I've had one of the BEST years I've ever had this last year! Getting to work on an incredible large scale project, reconnecting with old friends, finally finding that balance of fun and work, terrific clients---even my trip to Paris (not to mention finding Activerain). It may just be that this house is over 100 years old and needs some help. But I thank you for the Intensified Energy and know that it will be fine.
Jennifer, Believe me they will be screened. It was perhaps a lesson I needed to learn, not only about contractors but the fact that I immediately trust people and think now I should let them earn that trust...
Gary, I am going back to check your link and thank you for some humor! All lessons can be trying but they do always turn into an opportunity for change, growth and lessons. There is something down the road from this with all the "clearing out" and while I don't know what it is yet, I'm willing to bet it's going to be good! Thank you for your comment.
Katerina, Thank you so much, it was a complete surprise believe me. The Secret is wonderful and there is a reason for everything. I don't believe in accidents so this is happening for a reason I don't yet know. But the clients I've heard from, now that is wonderful news!
Armando, Thank you for stopping by and commenting. It was certainly a week with a balance and stepping back was just what I needed to do.
Laurie, I am trying to do just that but except for a window person, have not yet found the "right" people. And I've had quite a few :) I'm sure they arriving very soon. I am sorry this man is going to do this to other people, however, and wanted to send out a reminder to be VERY careful with these types of people.
Julie, we were "cross" commenting :) No, I haven't heard of anyone there which is one of the reasons I asked. I consult with people all across the country by distance consultations and when I read your post, I realized I have never gotten one in your state. If you want on site, make sure they are Certified. We don't have any industry standards and I actually knew of one person who read a book on it and put up a website. I always hoped they would change the criteria but they never did and most people aren't aware of it. Thank you for letting me know....
Carole: Just as an aside, here's an interesting little bit: The contractor working on my neighbor's house is a very nice guy, seems to do excellent work, but he, too, vanishes for a time, then reappears.
He was refreshingly honest, though, when I asked him about. He confessed he had underbid my neighbor's job, and had to squeeze in other jobs each week to pay his workers and keep the cash flow moving.
I suppose this is a more common problem that many contractors will admit. Couple it with the fact that any small businessperson hates to turn down customers ..... and you have a recipe for grief. <s>
P.S. I've been looking as my own office building lately with an eye towards the Feng Shui arrangements. Interesting......
You are on a roll with all these featured posts! Congratulations. Just wanted to make sure you saw the Crab & Pasta recipe I posted this week--I know you like to try them on your daughter. :0)
Carole: Thanks for sharing this. I think one of the major impacts of the internet is illustrating that we are all in this together . . . that everyone has challenges. Thank you for being so candid. I am very interested in how you will resolve this.
As a Feng Shui practitioner myself, I am all too aware of how easy it is to see what others should be doing, but so difficult to apply the principles to myself!!! You seem to be good at this though.
Candy, Maybe too much from the heart? I am going to have a much more upbeat post next time, honest! Maybe more about Feng Shui or a long overdue third MeMe I was tagged to do :)
Cheryl, Thank you for relaying that story. I have heard that contractors can change "on a dime" was the expression a client used so even someone with a good track record you can have problems with. I'm glad he was upfront enough to be honest with you, what a wonderful quality! Looking at things through what we call "Feng Shui Eyes" is truly seeing things differently :) I have to wonder what you're seeing in your office...
Diane, Thank you for stopping by and commenting. It ended up being a balanced week, the other news was wonderful!
Cynthia, Did I miss a recipe of YOURS? Gee, I try to be so careful, I will have to go back and get it. I've made a few of your dishes and they aren't too hard (good!) and they're wonderful! BTW, last night we had a similar incident to yours with my son's car right in front of the house. Since they're doing all this work anyway, I may take my own advice and install an outdoor security system! (Thankfully, I didn't send him to Mechanics school for nothing!! :)
Lizette, Thank you, you really understand! I am honestly tired of people telling me when it's clear downstairs which I was told, it's my house and I will know when it's cleared. I also don't believe I need those french drains which everyone is telling me to get....we'll find out. And when all this is done, I'm taking a trip somewhere, want to join me?
Julie, Thank you! I debated for a long time on whether to make this post public as all my others had been for members only and I had to think if it helps ONE person from making a bad decision, it was worth it!
Loretta, I was definitely questioning myself---again! We have to realize these people are just good at what they do---and we have to be better. And I already KNOW I'm too trusting so I should have known better. I did not, apparently, learn my lessons, by George I think I've got it now!
Bob & Carolyn, Thank you, I am intending for the Best possible outcome. Thank you for stopping in and commenting.
Karen, I like your idea. I believe in getting back the treatment you give out so fortunately I don't have to worry about things like "getting even" or back at people. I wrote this and made it public to warn others and it will save someone from a mistake. Thanks for your comment and advice.
Deborah, Thank you for your comment. I am honestly interested as well into what will be the "key" to this....and the reasons for it that I don't see yet, it's more than lessons. I was trying to do everything correctly from a Feng Shui perspective: I intended on only attacting good people to come in and help and even had a date I envisioned by which time I wanted it resolved. In spite of those Intentions, it's not what happened. So there is more to this then I am seeing; I just don't know what it is, yet.
Carole: I think the teachings from this experience will really provide a lot of insight into the "x" factor, whether that is "luck," karma or something else.
If everything were simply a matter of intention, we'd all be on cloud nine, all the time. I think it is much more complicated and profound than that.
I admire that you are putting yourself out there as kind of a living experiment . . . that takes a lot of courage!
I am sure something positive will come of this, it is just difficult to be with whatever is going on in the moment!
Karma, what comes around goes around, that poor excuse of a contractor will have a taste of karma one day, bet on it. Kudos for your positivity in handling the matter the way you did and carrying on!
Sharon
"Sometimes the only way to see the whole picture is to step back, and remove yourself from it." That is a great lesson to learn. When we are consumed by our situation it's difficult to find the way out. Wayne Dyer says that when he calls his friend Deepak Chopra to ask for help with a problem, he always gets the same answer, "meditate."
Thanks for reading and commenting on Goals Must be S-M-A-R-T, not DUMB
Deborah, Thanks so much for taking the time to come back. I struggled with the Members Only for this post because I was concerned how it would affect my business. And it hasn't. I needed to put it out there because so many people read ActiveRain and one person will find this and save themselves some heartache, I know it. I know there are lessons still to be revealed and wonder what they are but they'll come. Thank you for your perspective, it always helps.
Sharon, Thank you for your comment. There is always a silver lining (that has to be true, my Grandmother taught me that! :) and I'm sure it's coming.
Betty, Thank you for checking back, you're very welcome!
Tommy, Thank you so much for the information, I am in Farmingdale as well! Glad to hear you found your way to ActiveRain and I'll be on the lookout for some of your posts now that I know!
Donna, I know times are tough in this industry right now but I have a really good feeling about that office...and I can't always say that. I saw many Feng Shui issues but all easily resolved and because the entire office was so "in tune" I know they are going to create a wonderful atmosphere and see things change....I'll keep you updated!
Dan, I love those people, particularly Dr. Dyer and The Power of Intention. It was a wonderful book everyone should have. Thanks for your comment.