I am showing some pictures on this post that some of you have probably run into at one time or another. Please note: I am NOT showing them to have any disparaging comments made about these clients, but rather just to let you realize that oftentimes people don't realize what they are living with. They have become so used to clutter and as it builds, they don't even realize it. Things then start to happen in their life that are not good aspects and they don't understand why. I come across this more often then you might think and my job here is to help inspire and encourage them to tackle the number one principle of Feng Shui---To DeClutter. It is impossible to allow new, good energy to enter when there is simply no room for it to ENTER.
These clients, as all of my clients, are wonderful people. They were wrapped up in what colors and what type of new furniture to purchase when they had not addressed the first problem. Letting go. It is difficult for some people as you know. This is NOT hoarding, I have seen that as well and distinctly recall James Frazier's post "The Psychology of Hoarding" which struck a nerve with me because those people need some help to figure out WHY they are hoarding. It is a symbol of a deeper issue.
These clients needed help in learning HOW to let go. When I work with people that have accumulated too many things and it's gotten out of control, I have found that breaking the area down to one single part of a room or closet will help them to begin. Giving them inspiration and motivation helps them. Or I will set a time limit on how long to take at a time, one hour three times a week, say, so when that hour is up they know they have made headway and they can stop. I am never critical nor do I make any disparaging remarks. I need to encourage and inspire and motivate them. And give them many follow ups with positive energy.
A brief history: This home is located in Syosset, Long Island, NY. The couple had owned the home for 11 years and they lived on the upper floor. One set of parents lived downstairs. About a year after moving in, his mother had a stroke. This sets off an alarm for me and I asked if there had been any leaks. There was and in fact what had started off as a drip got considerable worse and had never been fixed. And then had suffered another. If you've read previous posts, leaks relate to health issues, specifically BLOOD FLOW---or lack of it. So before any decluttering could be done, that leak HAD to be repaired. I went through every area of their home and gave them specifics to break things down and the order to do them and asked for phone calls to keep me updated.
He is wonderful about calling to let me know the progress; the leak was finally fixed (it was the first time in MANY years they used their own bathroom, they had been going downstairs to bathe and shower) and were working hard to lighten up everything. In baby steps because otherwise it would become too overwhelming. As of this writing, they are still "lightening" the load and his wife was offered a NEW JOB FOR MORE MONEY. She is not sure she wants it, but I take that as a very good sign they are making progress!
The Kitchen.
The WEALTH area of their bedroom. They had recently painted but did not like the color and wanted to repaint. They will, AFTER they have decluttered it.
Finally FIXED! This in itself is great progress!
The attic. If you remember that energy from below rises (keep those basements clean) and energy ABOVE "Hangs over your Head" they see the need to clear out what is not needed or loved.
The area leading down to the basement.
And a lovely area they had done.
They promised to send some "after" pictures and although it may be awhile, I will share them with you when they come.
As always I love your post I am just getting into Feng Shui myself and you are teaching me a lot.
Thank You!
It certainly can be hard to let go! 6 years ago I gladly unloaded most of my belongings - it was freeing. Then I went back & realized things that I kept! I did it all over again - And that is not all - it hard to not collect things!
I can handle that kitchen, but the purple swags feel "looming" - ominous - always something overhead.
Carole.... did you say a challenge? rut row.... looks a little more than a challenge. Will matches work better? lol Seriously, looks like you have your hands full.
But I do agree.... baby steps.
Carole, What a wonderful post. Congrats on your gold star !
Strangely enough (or maybe not <wink>) , I have been thinking a lot of what you said about decluttering (someone had mentioned your advice in another post somewhere~ I can't remember who it was now !! ) and thinking it is time for me to do another decluttering. I have SOOOO many things. The problem is that they are all of sentimental value; gifts from the heart of clients, friends and family.
How do you go about decluttering when your things are gifts from the heart ? I can't bear even the thought of giving up even one precious gift that someone has given me with love in their heart. I still have all of my old stuffed animals from when I was a baby !
Anyhow, your post was a wonderful one to read, the pictures were excellent (ouch, that bathroom and the staircase are screaming for attention ) and it was an excellent reminder for me. I look forward to seeing the after pics.
Jo
Carole,
Think of it as an investment property that needs to be cleaned out. You need to remove all the clutter and then figure out what is still there holding the walls together...open the windows and let some light in.:) It is a big process to take on.
Hi Carole,
First of all, congratualtions on the featured blog!
These people certainly found the best when they contacted you! There is no doubt in my mind that their lives are going to change for the better BIG TIME as a result of your expertise!
Keep us posted on how everything goes with this.
VAL
Downsizing and de-cluttering are huge emotional hurdles for many, especially our olders clients. Many times it helps to get family members involved to help them decide what to keep and what to throw/give away. It can be a very time consuming project but the result is well worth it!
Congratulations on the feature...again this week! Very useful advice for all. I know a few people who would consider that home organized. The laundry in all in one location, the albums and books are all in one location, and anything without a category all in one location. What's the problem?
Love it!
Carole, in a situation like this where do you have people start. I try to get my clients to make 3 piles, throw away, give away, keep. The problem is with the keep pile. They tend to thrown it in the basement. The basement winds up being worse than before and basements in my area are very important for families with kids. They are hard to show properly when they're stacked to the ceiling!!Do you suggest your clients start from the bottom (basement) up or top down? I'm looking forward to your after pictures and future advice.
Thank you for all the positive comments, I was afraid of someone being critical. I personally don't mind it so much but I DO mind it if it's about my clients!
Lorinda, I'm glad you are learning. There are so many old posts that have some helpful information if you wanted to go back and read them. Simple things to do just to start.
Deborah,I actually liked the hanging things, it differentiated the space. It came out differently in the picture, they were all beads---some of them glistened when the sun changed. It wasn't at all heavy though I realize it can appear that way.
Jeff, they are such great people and seeing how the things they've already done have started to change things, that and much encouragement will keep them going. They get motivated because I explain what it can do for them---and then it works.
Rosario, I know, I have seen many. I was only unable to help one person but by the time I was called it was too late. I tried everything and I always feel badly about it.
Todd and Danielle, They are going to make room for more wonderful things; his wife was already offered a new job for more money. She doesn't know whether she wants it; part of this is a "comfort" on some level but they are working on it and see a few other things as well.
Tracey, There are a few past posts on Leaks because they concern me very much. I have seen that often and even if it's not a blood flow issue (in this case it was), it is always a health issue if left unaddressed.
Jo, There is a "Helpful People" post and many of the things people have given you that are TRUE helpful people would go there. It sounds like you would have one big area, but that's wonderful...just leave room for more to come in! I tell my clients "If you don't need it, use it or Love it, get rid of it." So many people need things that we have all over, how good they will feel for lightening up and the lucky and needy recipients will feel for getting it.
Neal, it's big and they need encouragement but they hear how happy I am and they see small changes (in this case not so small, a job offer) and they know it will HELP---It will take a while but their hearts are in it now!
Dena, I sometimes wait because I've been running around and then I can't stand it one more minute! I go into some state where EVERYTHING goes, I hardly have to think about it! I was getting some clothes together the other day and saw what I had accumulated in clothes---I packed three huge bags and one box and my daughter carted them off to Goodwill---
Val,Thank you! I think everyone was starting to think I only did high end homes or businesses and I do everyone which is why I've always kept my prices down. For which I have gotten much criticism over it as you know. It's become just a business to some (not ALL) and it wasn't meant to be that, EVER.
Laurie, Thank you for recognizing that! They knew they needed help and I give them a lot of credit for getting it. Without worrying about shame or judgement, it's my job to help, not judge.
Diane,I know first had how difficult it is with older people. My mother has saved everything she's ever gotten. I gave up a long time ago, but her house is always cleaned and organized (enough). She was a collector, there are hummels, dolls, beer steins, plates---you name it. Thank goodness her house is big enough so it actually looks nice!
HI Gary,Thank you for the comment. I look forward to the "after pictures" too to put up because then I can start on other issues of Feng Shui which we can't get to until this is clear.
Sheron, I can see I'm going to have to come out there to change things over at your house :) At your expense, of course. Oh, and I like the GOOD coffee, please :)
Teri,thank you. Some of the older posts address leaks and many other Feng Shui issues and advice. I am SO glad there's more of an interest in it then there was when I signed on!
Hi, you didn't leave a name---Thank you for the question. I go by what HAS to be addressed first (the leak) and then by room (so the kitchen, a place of nourishment will be next.) And it has to be broken down into one cupboard at a time in some cases. The end result of the "questionable" box on whether they are going to keep it or not, most goes, if they have to think about it, they don't really love it or need it. Keep it in small segments and put a time limit on it.
Lizette,I'm thrilled you have no clutter but you can Feng Shui your desk!! Why miss an opportunity to make more money? Organize it, I will BET you it feels better and new things come in if you work part of the time from home!
Thanks to the moderators for the feature and to all of you for the lovely, POSITIVE comments!
Thanks Carole, yes, my whole living area is a 'helpful and loving people' area. And it keeps growing !! Two days ago some parents of one of my clients gave me a beautiful wooden clock with a moose and pine tree on it and a beautiful potted variegated shamrock and tonight another client gave me an antique gardening book that she has had for awhile. When she found out I collect antique books and love gardens, she dug it out for me and gave it to me tonight when I was over there getting papers signed ! I was so very touched. Anyhow, my sentimental and lovely gifts from people I care about just keeps growing. I was thinking of packing some things away, like some of the framed family photos ( i have so many) , however I just can't do it. I treasure everything that someone has given me, it is like a piece of themselves since it is a gift from the heart.
Jo
Wow -- some of those rooms need help .. lots of help.
Carole,
How lovely it would be if you could be available to some clients before they called to have their home put on the market. Your post is also a great lesson on the perils of accumulating too much stuff. It buries us.
Sounds like this was a big project. It is very difficult for some people to let go, I know some personally. Please share the "after" photos and let us know how your clients are adjusting. Good post.
Jo, somehow it doesn't surprise me that you are surrounded with helpful people! The more you have and the way way you honor them draws in more--one ting you can never have enough of! I sometimes too get gifts from clients and I treasure them.
Bob & Carolin, I am not at all worried, they are so mindful of what I was telling them and found the "How" information helpful, I know they are going to plow through it. And then we can discuss color choices and any other issues. Just addressing the leak and cleaning the bathroom has made a difference they feel....and if they get stuck, they call.
Eloise,I am called by both clients and work with some Realtors for selling. To give them advice on a home staging aspect as well as incorporating Feng Shui Principles. I have been working with a few realtos for years now...redesign, lightening up and incorporating Feng Shui. I spoke to the Long Island Board of Realtors in November; many of the realtors are very receptive to it and use it.
Rick & Ines, thank you for your comment. It is, I believe, the most important step and best thing they can do--or anyone for that matter! My clients tell me all the time just by doing that they FEEL better and I know the feeling because I do it here if things accumulate.
Beth,They are doing most of the work, I am their "back up" for when they get stuck to re-motivate them and get them going again. If clients truly get the reason why, they will plow ahead and then get stuck from time to time. It can be daunting but then some encouragement and more advice and they're back "on it." I can see a home, no matter what it looks like from the possibilities of what it can look like----and giving them what I see helps! There is so much potential in every home.
Cynthia, I heard from them recently, they were out buying a wind chime. Not to spoil his enthusiasm but I reminded him about the "cleaning time." They had done it in the morning!
WOW that's a lot of stuff! it doesn't take an expert to know that they need to clean and declutter!
cheers,
cindy
Ouch this one would send me running, running right to HOME DEPOT to get some new bathroom fixtures and tiles. WOW this is also a staging nightmare. Please keep us updated on results.
Phyllis Pafumi
Very nice post. Thank you, Carol.
I think I'll show it to my wife so she can stop accumulating all kinds of "abundance".
Thanks
Tommy