It's Just BAD BUSINESS! Feng Shui in New York--and a Word about MINDFULNESS!
Feng Shui Consultants in New York may have it rough these days. Many people in The Big Apple turn to Feng Shui because they BELIEVE in it. They are becoming educated on what the lovely Art of Feng Shui IS---and what it ISN'T. It IS about MINDFULNESS, about treating others the way you would like to be treated yourself.
It ISN'T about BASHING other Feng Shui Consultants. You may not agree with them or may practice from a different perspective but how can you CLAIM to be "Mindful" when you are hurting others?
Our websites-and our Blogs portray who we are. They should be honest and truthful and while I believe it's fine to promote yourself and what makes YOU stand out in a crowd, it should not be about demeaning others in any way.
This was brought to my attention just yesterday at a Feng Shui Consultation I did in Nassau County Long Island New York. While speaking to my lovely clients and finding they had in fact attempted to have their home arranged in a Feng Shui manner several years ago, a question my client asked me stopped me COLD.
I've seen it before and I was aware of it---BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE. While searching for a New York Feng Shui Consultant, he came across a website that had derogatory remarks about other Feng Shui Practitioners. He didn't like it and turned away from the site.
You can BET if he did, others have as well. What does that really say about YOU when you are bashing others? If you think it makes you stand out in a crowd, you're right. If you think it makes you look GOOD, Think AGAIN.
In New York City and on Long Island, many Feng Shui Consultants are available who practice from all different methods. That's one of the unique qualities of Feng Shui in that we have often been schooled differently and have found, over time, what works and what doesn't. For US and OUR CLIENTS.
Honestly, take a look at your website. What does it say to others about you? Would YOU want to work with someone openly speaking ill about other Real Estate Agents? I have never seen it and I've never seen it in all the Home Stager's websites I've visited also.
I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED-AND ALWAYS WILL-THAT BASHING ANOTHER ONLY MAKES YOU LOOK BAD! And what put in writing for anyone to see gets cached. It may just come back to you again and again.
Is it Sour Grapes??
Yes, in Feng Shui, Real Estate, Home Staging and the many other facets of Real Estate, we ALL want to come out on top-in a Respectful manner. You can bet if this client didn't like what he read, others won't as well. Is your Website or your Blogs portraying you in your best light? BE CAREFUL WITH WHAT YOU WRITE-IT WILL SURELY COME BACK TO YOU!
*If I sound angry, I am. ........It's just BAD BUSINESS. And a reminder to be very careful what seeds YOU are sowing.
**Carole Provenzale has been a New York Feng Shui Consultant since 1997 and is the Founder of Feng Shui Long Island & New York. On Site Feng Shui Consultations provided for New York City -Manhattan, Queens and all of Long Island for Homes, Apartments, Businesses, Corporations, Renovations and New Construction. http://www.LongIslandFengShui.com
Feng Shui Long Island and Manhattan's Mission is simply this: To provide each and every client quality, experienced consultations, a knowledge and understanding of Feng Shui to empower themselves at a price everyone can afford.
You're absolutely right, Carole. It is bad business, and I'm afraid, at some point or another, we've all been guilty of bad-mouthing someone else, but I would hope we wouldn't put it in writing, on our websites???!!!
Hi Carole-Great post. My Mom always used to say if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. Unfortunately there will always be folks who are rude, inconsiderate and try to make others look bad to try to make themselves look better. Those people are insecure people who you most definitely need to stear clear of. Sorry to hear you ran into that type of person. Have a great Monday anyways <SMILE>
Carole ~ It just seems like a Feng Shui consultant who is sending out bad "vibes" isn't really going to be very helpful to clients! Bad mouthing others only reflects badly on you.
It ISN'T about BASHING
Why people bash a certain industry or profession or religion or political party or anything is beyond me.
Point one finger at someone else....and ten point back at me. Better people look in the mirror to see what's reflecting back.
Good grief. How stupid is that?? Some people just dont get it and never will.
Carole, Great reminder for everyone, not just Feng Shui Consultants. How sad that someone who is in the business of positive energy would spread so much negativity!
Bashing others on your website is just bad business. I've had a Realtor bash me and several others here on Active Rain in a blog, and it always comes back to bite them.
More and more people I talk to about staging their home are interested in Feng Shui methods and will be willing to do little things to sell their homes.
Good for you that the client recognized this other website for what it was and called you.
Hi Carole...They are only bashing themselves in my estimation. Those are the types of people I steer clear of in every facet of my life.
Anyone that will deal with a "professional" that demeans others in their line of work is not a client I would want to work with and I'm sure you don't either. Nothing lost.
Kate
One can point out their strengths and advantages without bashing someone else. It is a much stronger way to highlight yourself and your differences from another competitor.
Sylvie, Putting it in writing is not at all helpful to them. This person turned away and I have no doubt that others have as well--and will continue to.
Hi Sharon, I'm sorry my client saw it (and was offended by it). Clients looking for Feng Shui are very mindful people, that's NOT what they're looking for in a consultant.
Kathy, It sure does. And something I have never seen on all the Home Staging websites I've been on.
Sally, It's beyond me too. And it's so NOT necessary and kind of sad they feel the need to do this to make themselves feel better.
Martha, Why don't you tell me what you REALLY think :) ? I happen to agree with you!
Diane, It is the exception to the rule. But it is amazing to see after all these years there are so many--maybe they thought that gave them an "edge."
Linda, I just tonight received a contact from a prospective client about their home (which they said has been on the market for two years--OUCH!). There was no phone so I will email them back.
Kate, That's how this client felt. And I'm sure how others must feel when reading this---but this is the first client that actually mentioned it (and it obviously bothered him).
Hi Carole,
I just had a long response typed and it disappeared due to my inability to enter the key word. Oh well. I just will say thanks for the reminder to be mindful. The only people who try to get ahead by putting others down are those with no self confidence. It is a bully attitude and is not a good way to present yourself to the world.
Carole I can "feel" your anger and rightly so. Where does slander enter the picture with websites? IT's just WRONG. We always hear that people that do this sort of bashing will get theirs in the end, but don't you just wish it would happen quickly. How do they live with themselves? Sorry that this happened.
I just had my introductory class to Feng Shui last night. The other students, like myself, have read books, "heard things" and had interest. Each of us asked our instructor questions regarding what we believed we "knew". She explained many times over, that this was "her way, and others may practice differently" and she was sure that "their way worked as well". You are so right, bashing only makes the basher look bad, not the bash-ee.
Paddy, I hate when that happens and have done it myself many times :( Thank you for the re-write. I's bad business and it isn't necessary to do that.
Ginger, Thank you for stopping by. My energy is strong, I guess but it put me in a difficult position on how to answer with my client. They may not believe in the theory that you get the clients you are meant to have...
Cheryl, There are so many schools of Feng Shui and perspectives on Feng Shui that no two of us teach alike or maybe make the same recommendations. I am SO careful myself when teaching to say this is the way I practice though other methods all work. Hooray for you, I'm thrilled!!
I don't think it is ever a good idea to put down the competition. I try to sell my best attributes and explain how I will try to do things a little better than my competitors but never bash them.
S u r p r is e !
Hi sunshine, I see you are being mindful as always ;-)
I miss you and your posts!
I am coming back to AR so watch for me and I will fill you in.
Sheron
Hi Carole,
Hope all is well with you! I certainly don't blame you I would very upset too! It is funny how people don't realize that bashing another person or business only makes them look bad. Who in their right mind would want to do business with someone like that?? I sure wouldn't as I would be wondering what they would be saying behind my back!
Trace
Carole, I would imagine the Feng Shui community isn't that large, evern in a place as large as New York and Long Island. Even if it were, it is definitely bad business to publicly bash other people on a web site. A huge turn off and unethical. Violates Feng Shui and the Golden Rule.
Bill, I can't see how that's going to help someone--personally OR professionally. I know my client saw it and was bothered by it.
Ok, Sheron, I almost fell off my chair...what a delight to see you and I'm thrilled you're FINALLY coming back! Can't wait to hear what you've been up to....
Hi Trace! It's been a long time, how nice to see you! Wow, I got more then one surprise tonight...what a nice evening this is :) I hope all is well with you and thanks so much for comong by, you've been missed here!
Hi Carole,
I feel bad to see you so upset, but you have a valid reason. "A bad apple spoils the batch", the same principle applies to any other group, Feng Shui practitioners, Realtors, doctors, etc. You never hear as much about the good things people do as much as about the bad things, the mistakes, the mean or dishonest behavior.
This is a good lesson for those who are tempted to do business this way.
Frank & Sharon, It actually is quite large...there are probably 500+ practitioners now (that's my guess). There are no credentials that are needed for Feng Shui and there are also many classes for it now. But no, it doesn't make it right to do that--we don't put others down for any reason. Funny that another call last night and it was mentioned to me again....people ARE noticing.
Marzena, I agree with you and hate to see it happen in this incredible profession. But people don't like it themselves and yet another potential client mentioned it on the phone last night. We are supposed to all stand together and not hurt others in any way. There is enough for everyone and you definitely get the clients you are meant to have.
You've got a smart client who can tell who the real professional is. Don't waste too much energy on those jerks with no class, it will only keep your mind off better things.
How awful. Sometimes I forget how lucky we are in my area to have such a wonderful, supportive group of Home Stagers. We network together, go to lunch, and refer business back and forth. Just this week alone I have probably sent out 5 referrals to local Stagers when I got calls for jobs that were not in my area. I figure what goes around comes around and some day the good karma will come back at me!
Hi Carole !
It's crazy how so many professionals out there have such 'loose lips' - in person, or on blogs or emails etc.
I just dont think those people get it, and it can certainly hurt the reputation of the other industry professionals too.
... if only there were more like you Carole :o)
Cheers !
Sheldon
Carole--While our industry's code of ethics prevents some of the blatent trash-talking against other agents, it does go on to some degree. It is sad that a few think the best way to attract clients is by bad mouthing others...sounds a little juvenile doesn't it? People who live by the golden rule are rewarded greatly...Sell your positives! You my friend always do!
Georgina, I know. I never have found that hurting others for ANY reason makes you look better.
Sheldon, No, I guess they don't get it...what a shame, it's such a beautiful "business." Thank you my friend for the kind compliment!
Teri, It sounds like negative energy to me. There is no reason for it and they only hurt themselves. We are supposed to have a code of ethics -- which doesn't mean all people follow it.
Carole, that's very odd that they bash other practitioners. Do they think they are less knowledgeable, or professional? Do they think they have the corner on the ONLY WAY! Maybe you should call them on it and say it doesn't do anyone good to bash other people just doing their jobs.
oh you're so cute :-) and I love your graphics! If you don't have anything nice to say.........say nothing..:-) and sometime theres a lot of nothing to be said...
Carol - some people just never learn. People do not want to see who you dislike or disagree with for what ever reason they want to know what you can do for them.
Gary, I had wondered if people noticed....this client answered what I had thought. I don't want to cause any problems and honestly, they are only hurting themselves. It makes me sad that this is going on in this incredible profession.
Liz, I was upsetwhen I wrote that...not at all cute. There's nothing you can do about pople that aren't mindful of others.
Kathy, We were taught not to say anything negative about other practitioners or the way they practice. We shouldn't have even had to be told that...and here it is for everyone to see. What a shame.
Carole--I agree with you & the others that bashing or any type of negativity is just not good business. Like Sharon's mother mine said the same thing. She never allowed us to talk negatively about others. We haven't walked in their shoes or know where they are coming from. I would love to know more about Feng Shui, but we are so far apart. I will visit your post more often so I can learn. Thanks. Mary
Hi Carole,
Thanks so much, you are always such a sweetie!!
Trace
Carole,
It's sad that there are people in business who feel this is the way to get ahead....if only they realized how bad it's really making them look.
Jo
Hi Mary, Thank you for stopping by. This is sad in ANY profession but it particularly saddens me in Feng Shui....we are not supposed to be critical of others methods or anything else. Those old words stand true....iif you don't have anything nice to say (or, in this case, write)....
Trace, Could you tell I was happy to see you're back? :)
Jo, I don't understand, how could they NOT see that? I have clients bringing it up to me (and I remain silent).
Hi Carole, I hear you loud and clear. Today I was having a conversation about someone using a smear campaign that backfired. The one talking all the BS lost the campaign, while the other one won. It had nothing to do with facts, but the fact that none of us thought it right to smear someone in public like that. Just as your seller said, and in our case, the city didn't vote for the guy that did this. I can't believe anyone would think this really works....but as you know it takes all kinds.
Kathy, It must take all kinds and I'm SO glad that people are not falling for it. But most of all, it's hurtful to this lovely profession and that's what I hate to see. I never thought putting anyone down for any reason was a way to attract business.
My wise old grandmother taught me to know my competition so that some day I could sell my business to them. Let them continue working while I took the money and enjoyed myself. Worked extremely well in 1992, the only time that I have sold a company to a competitor.
She also taught me that when people speak ill of other people, it's just jealousy. She taught me a lot about jealousy.
Carole,
Wow! After reading your blog I quickly visited my own website to make sure nothing came off as derogatory about my competition.... whew.. safe...
Sometimes what we are trying to communicate by written word sounds more harsh than if we say it out loud with voice inflection and context. I hope that was the case.. just bad communicators.
Thanks for the blog...
-Ingrid