Feng Shui Long Island's Blog

Although I have worked with Real Estate Agents for a long time for helping to sell a home, we seemed to be on different wavelengths.  Of course our common purpose was to help a client's home sell but I believed we were "coming from different places."  I couldn't have been more wrong.

When I signed onto Activerain I felt the same way.  The funny thing is, the longer I am on the site and the more I read about Realtors has shown me we are much more alike then I ever would have believed. So, what ARE the common denominators between Feng Shui Consultants and Real Estate Agents? 

We CARE very much for our clients.  We want the best for them and try to help them in so many ways.  We feel their happiness and their pain. We just aren't able to leave all our thoughts of them at the door when we arrive home; they are very much on our minds.

We don't work a "normal" work week or a 9 to 5 schedule.  We need to make ourselves available  when our clients are available, including nights and most weekends.  

Most of us didn't choose this work, it chose US.  Or maybe we found  ourselves in it and got caught up in it.  Although it may be a challenge at times, the fact is we LOVE what we do!                   

This brings to mind a line from the movie "A League of Their Own."  It is based on a true story about a girls baseball team.  When one player is getting ready  to quit and Tom Hanks asks her why, she replies "It just got too HARD."  She didn't end up quitting and neither do we.  "After all," he replies, "If it were easy, ANYONE could do it."  Not everyone can do what we do.     

Simply put, most of us have to pay our own health insurance---or go without. Many people might prefer to stick with the "safe" job with a guaranteed income where they receive benefits.  Not us.

Many of us form a real connection to our clients and go on to become genuine friends with them.  How many people in how many professions can actually say that?  We form some very special bonds that are never broken.

We feel that we have "helped" people.  That in itself is a great satisfaction. 

A recent fascinating post by Lola Audu showed that many of us do feel the ENERGY in a home.  It's real, it exists and the comments all support the fact that most other Realtors feel it as well.  If you happened to miss it:  How to Successfully Engage the Sale of "The Angry House!"

We don't stick with the safe, corporate jobs we may have once held.  We don't leave when the going gets rough.  We delight every bit as much as our clients when we have helped them and feel their pain almost as deeply when something goes wrong, despite our best efforts.  Real Estate and Feng Shui Consultants are committed to their work and, as it turns out, have MANY common denominators.

http://www.FengShuiLI.com

*Carole Provenzale has been a Certified Feng Shui Consultant since 1997 and is the Founder of Feng Shui Long Island providing on site consultations for all of Long Island and New York City and personalized Feng Shui Consultations by phone for those at a distance.

I'm not sure how I would take this if I were a Realtor.  Yesterday was just another day; I had a list of errands and was going to get my hair done.  Michelle is my hairdresser; she was referred to me years ago by someone I know whose hair looked terrific.  She has a small salon a few towns away and I make it a point to go there because she's the type of hairdresser that just "gets it."  You tell her what you want and she does it, beautifully.  Michelle doesn't advertise in any way and over the years I've seen her following grow until she's now booked sometimes for weeks in advance.  She works solely on referrals, has no internet presence and people come from near and far to go to her.

What does this have to do with Real Estate?   Well, last time I saw her was about three months ago, just after she had gotten married.  She was ecstatic as all new brides are and when I walked in this time she was thrilled to announce she'd bought a house.  I was very happy for her of course.  Here's a home buyers story and her realtor's story....I wondered how I would feel if I were her Real Estate Agent.

There were two things both Michelle and her husband were looking for: a ranch style home with a basement.  Her business is located in Levittown, New York and for anyone who remembers Mr. Levitt and his mass construction, there are plenty of ranch style homes but they do not contain basements. They were mass produced for returning Veterans at a very affordable price and only came in two styles:  Ranch homes (with no basements) and Cape Cod houses.  Neither of these fit her criteria.

One of the Original Levitt Homes located in Levittown, New York in the Town of Hempstead;  this one has added on additions as so many do.  Here an apartment and extension are where the original carport was located. 

 She went with a realtor to many different homes in many different towns around the Island while trying to stay somewhat in the vicinity of her work.  "Carole," she said, "You wouldn't BELIEVE the homes we saw.  Some were just dirty, don't people at least CLEAN when they are selling a home?  Others needed extensive renovations.  We even saw homes that had holes in the wall."  It saddened me very much to hear that; I'm sure her real estate agent suggested they clean, repair and replace items but ultimately, it's out of their hands if their clients refuse to listen.

Finally, she wanted to see a home that a friend kept telling her to go look at.  It had not yet been put on the market but her friend swore it was in "move in" condition.  The house was in Levittown but one of only two homes that were not built by Levitt, instead she said it was built by Terra homes and about 40 years old---a ranch with a basement.  Her friend was a neighbor and knew the home would be going up for sale but arranged for Michelle and her husband to see it.  They did and yes, they fell in love---she had just closed on the home.

Her sadness was that she had felt her real estate agent had done so much work for them and taken them to so many homes and had lost out on the sale.  Michelle realizes the enormous amount of time and work her agent put into helping her and her husband find the perfect home.  The only thing she can do, she said, is refer her to her clients who of course talk about everything.  I thought to myself on the way home that she's referring to MANY people with her little thriving business, not to mention family and friends as well. And I'm betting on the fact that although her agent lost the sale on her home, Michelle's scope is pretty wide in many different towns on Long Island and her Realtor will get new clients.  Possibly MANY new clients. 

In these times I wondered if her Realtor was able to look past what she had lost out on to the potential of what she is likely to gain. Would you feel that she lost a sale or gained a host of good referrals?  I believe it's the latter and  I am hoping she can see the Big Picture.  There is no substitution, I believe, then a great referral!

http://www.FengShuiLI.com

*Carole Provenzale has been a Certified Feng Shui Consultant since 1997 and is the Founder of Feng Shui Long Island.  Carole consults on site on Long Island and New York City and by phone for those at a distance.

Mirrors are a huge principle in Feng Shui and also in Home Staging.  So much so that I'm going to give you the "lowdown" from a Feng Shui Consultants use of Mirrors....and the effects of them.

Mirrors are used quite often in Feng Shui with INTENT. They can be a way to intentionally draw someone into a space---or make them feel "pushed away."  For example, we usually recommend placing a mirror if you have a small entranceway, to "grace" someone into the space.  We also look for walls to hang mirrors where they reflect the outside.  "Letting the Outside IN" is a Feng Shui Principle to create the Yin/Yang of a space.  But every space is different and before hanging ANY mirrors, have someone hold them and see how they make you FEEL first. 

Mirrors also Intensify and Magnify anything they are reflecting.  If you hang a mirror and it's reflecting a blank wall, you will double the energy of nothing.  Always check to see the ENERGY of what that mirror faces.  Some lovely artwork opposite a mirror is a wonderful addition.....some people want to intensify LIGHT as well. 

*Here's a little footnote before I forget:  With the exception of small mirrors used to institute a "cure" in Feng Shui, always make sure that a mirror is larger then your head and not broken up into pieces.  We need to see ourselves WHOLE and if the mirror is smaller then your head you are cutting off your AURA which is your energy field.

We don't advise mirrors in the bedrooms, something people have a difficult time with.  If you need a mirror in your bedroom to check your clothes, try placing it INSIDE the closet door.  This is probably where I've seen the most difficulties with mirrors and SO many people aren't sleeping well.  If a mirror is opposite you and you wake up to face yourself every morning, it can be an energy draw.  Let's face it; we're not looking our best when we wake up!  Something to defect the mirror might be a large, colorful vase placed in front.  Pretty statues (2-we think in PAIRS in the bedroom) or use your own imagination.  Remember, if you are missing an Element you can intensify it here.

A true case in point on the power of Mirrors.  While at a client's home I found the couple was not sleeping well at ALL.  Both were up many times during the night and their bed faced a wall that had an overhang.  It did not have any artwork or lights directed UP but standing at the foot of the bed, I could FEEL like I was being pushed out.  FEEL it but not SEE it.  I hate when this happens but I was stuck in that room, unable to give them an answer on what to do.  Minutes went by and they're looking at me expectantly----"COME ON already"  I could hear them thinking.  I went through question after question and finally it dawned on the homeowner---she had taken down a large mirror and not knowing where to put it, had stored it behind the headboard, making them feel "pushed" into the wall!  Ah, nice to know I wasn't crazy after all :)

Another issue with bedroom mirrors:  I have often seen closeted mirrors.  The scenario here is having a closet with mirrors, the bed in the middle and windows at the other side of the room.  The occupants can feel as if they're being "pushed" outside.  An easy solution if you don't want to take them down is hanging a sheer fabric over them.  You can add color and warmth and close them during the evening.  Remember too that your TV has not only electromagnetic energy but a reflective quality.  Don't sleep with the TV on and if it's facing you, it's best to cover it at night.

This is a BIG Feng Shui concern:  Mirrors should never reflect a drain.  We think of drains as simply that, drain energy which can drain our finances, health and business. 

We use mirrors as "cures" too.  Fighting with a neighbor?  We use a small 2" round mirror to gently deflect their energy back into their space.  We often place a small (3 to 5 inch) Bagua mirror over our front door facing out to deflect street energy, fast moving cars or T Junctions.  **A hint for buying mirrors:  Anytime you're purchasing something for Feng Shui and you look under those sites, the price goes up.  Small round mirrors can be found in craft stores for a dollar or two.  If you look for "Octagon" mirror instead of "Bagua" mirror they are often used to display jewelry and can be purchased very inexpensively.  I personally prefer the kind with NO WOOD around them but that is a matter of personal preference.

One more quick tip to be mindful of:  Convex and Concave mirrors are used only when necessary for certain very powerful remedies.  I personally have only used them a few times in over ten years so chances are you won't need it.

This was about as short as I could make this post and is only an overview of a complex subject in Feng Shui!  There is SO much more to mirrors and their own particular energy that they carry but keeping these points in mind when staging a home, selling a home or for your own personal use can make a very big difference.  Have you checked YOUR MIRRORS today?

http://www.FengShuiLI.com

**Carole Provenzale has been a Certified Feng Shui Practitioner and owner of Feng Shui Long Island for over a decade providing on site Consultations for all of Long Island and New York City and Distance Consultations by phone.

I didn't know we HAD book MeMe's until I was "tagged" by my lovely friend, Julie Neerings.  We're supposed to limit it to FIVE books?  Oh, well, I suppose I've broken a few rules before; why would this be different?  Here's my list in no particular order.  Each of these (and many more) have touched my life in different ways:

"You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay   I read this book many years ago and it is still as profound today as it was then.

"The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent by Living the Art of Allowing"  More insights from Esther and Jerry Hicks

"The Sleeping Prophet:  Edgar Cayce"  by Jess Stern  Another terrific old book; I believe I was about 17 when I read this and have been a member of ARE every since. 

"Life After Life"  by Raymond Moody  Finally, some observations into what I believed for many years.

"Conversations with Morrie"  by Robert Fulghum  For anyone who's read this, I don't have to say another word.  If you haven't, I strongly suggest it.

"The Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker  Reminds you to ALWAYS listen to the voices, feelings, warning and your inner voice.

"The Power of Intention"  by Wayne W. Dyer  So true!

I saved one for last because I have a story to go with it, one that affected me greatly.  The book is:  "Crossing Over"by John Edward, a native New Yorker from Long Island.  I had been watching Crossing Over since it was on The Sci Fi Channel and later when it went to prime time.  This particular self proclaimed Medium facinated me. I read this a few years after the incident. 

I was at one of the many schools I attended and was running late getting back to class after lunch.  I was running though the front of a car wash and heard my name.  I turned around to see who it was but didn't recognize anyone and started to leave. I heard my name again and a woman approached me.  "It's me, Carole, Mary."  I felt terrible that I didn't know her, she had been my daughter's teacher for two years and her tutor as well and was a driving and wonderful force in her life.  Her next sentence said it all "I lost my Andy."  Andy was one of her sons and the love of her life.  He had been in a horrible accident while driving his bicycle right near his home and was killed. 

In the book "Crossing Over" there is an entire chapter devoted to Mary Miracolo and her son Andy.  He came through to a woman who had driven past the scene of the accident not long after it happened and came through during her reading....so much was the grief that Mary had over her loss.  John Edward traced her to the funeral home and they delivered a message to her.  Andy came through in a strong and powerful way for his mother and family during that reading with very specific things for his family. The book also recounts that later, during John's Honeymoon, he came through so strongly again he felt compelled to call Mrs. Miracolo.  Apparently at another time she very much needed to hear it.  I last saw this wonderful and amazing woman back and doing what she did best, teaching and inspiring.  The readings and information that came through gave her much peace and comfort as she has NO DOUBTS that was her Andy.  I had my own brief experience with John Edward that left no doubt in my mind there are some people walking among us with very special gifts---and that our loved ones are always around us.

I am going to tag:

Jo-Anne Smith

Sheron Cardin

Deborah Pearce

 Life is Not only Viewed in Black and White

Never Say NEVER.  And Never Say ALWAYS.  One thing I have learned in Feng Shui is to always look at things through different perspectives.  There are so many ways to view things we quickly learned to see them ALL before making a decision.  I found this applied to my life as well in learning to deal with anything that came up.

Some of us, unfortunately, do not see all of the possibilities.  They view things are black or white and miss the beautiful and subtle colors that are may be just out of sight.  If we look closer we can see more perspectives and possibilities then we ever imagined---and more solutions to dealing with anything that comes up.

I received an interesting email this morning from someone I do not know who had a question regarding a Feng Shui Perspective with Staging a home for sale.  She said she was a strong proponent of always removing personal pictures when staging a home for sale.  As I thought about it, I wrote her back that I would agree about 90% of the time.  It brought to mind that I had in fact done a consultation for a client who had lined the walls of one particular room with beautiful family pictures that were taken all over the world.  They were all inspiring and beautiful shots and it showed and emitted a wonderful energy that absolutely radiated through the home.

A few years later when the client was selling the home and preparing it for sale they were advised to remove the photos.  Normally I would have agreed but I had been in that space and FELT that energy.  While it may have been a bit distracting it was also a positive, driving force of the energy of that home.  We are taught in Home Staging to declutter and depersonalize so a potential buyer can envision themselves in that space.  It's usually best to do this but seeing this home from another perspective would be that a potential buyer would see the joy and happiness of this family and feel the wonderful energy and envision themselves enjoying that life as well.   I advised them to leave the pictures up and explained why.

Needless to say, their Realtor wasn't very happy with this particular decision.  Or me for that matter.  It goes against what we are taught and I understood her point of view.  She very reluctantly had the homeowners leave the pictures up and the home sold during the very first open house although we went against all the rules.  It was someone much wiser then I who said "Rules were meant to be Broken" and Mentors who taught us to look at things in many different ways before coming to a decision.  The more perspectives you have, the more ways you can see to look at things differently will help you a great deal whether you're staging a home for sale or setting the stage for your life.  Remember to see all the "colors" in life to make the best possible decisions. 

http://www.FengShuiLI.com

Although I've given more my then share of Presentations to Companies, Corporations and Real Estate Agencies, I am usually perplexed when working on another with ways to improve it.  Should I change the materials I hand out, make them newer or flashier?  Dress differently?  I know that during my last several presentations there seemed to be something I said that made those that appeared bored or uninterested stop at some point, look up and take notice; they began to listen and get involved.  I have never been able to pinpoint what it is that creates that.

I thought to call Lisa, a Realtor I have known and worked with for years who is very familiar with Feng Shui.  She attended my last big presentation not to hear about Feng Shui but for moral support!  I know she is honest and maybe can give me some insights into what I do right and what I falter on.  I know the first 5 or 10 minutes, even after all this time are my WORST.  After that something else takes over, it's not me speaking and I can just let the information flow.  But what is it that "hooks" them?  That's what I wanted to know.

I do try to follow a "format" so I can get certain ideas and principles across in the allotted time but often people will raise their hands while being struck by something I said.  I do not ask them to "hold" their questions although that is what I was told long ago.  I figure if they're not sure of something, other people may be confused as well.  I answer the questions as they come up and find my way back on track.When I called Lisa it had been a while since we'd spoken and we decided to meet for breakfast.  The last time we did that at 8am so we could both accomplish all we needed to that day, we knew it was getting late when the hamburgers started coming out.  But if I need an honest, practical evaluation I know she will give it to me---STRAIGHT.

She was surprised by the question and asked "Don't you know?"  She had seen the warm reception I had gotten when she attended the last presentation and what was apparent to her was lost on me.  I sometimes find it difficult to explain ENERGY to those that aren't aware of it or don't believe in it.  It is intangible; it is not something I can SHOW them. 

"But you DO show energy" Lisa said quite clearly.  "After your first five minutes you come alive with it.  Your passion for this work comes through as well as your belief in it; you relate some personal stories of things you have come across and methods of dealing with it and as you keep going, it's YOUR energy that you're able to show.  That's what "hooks" these people and wakes them up."  "It is YOU they are in tune with, not so much something you said but your actions and reactions as you relate your love of this work that you do.  Do what you always do, Carole, go with the flow." 

Her words gave me a whole different way to look at things and the "hurdle" I had always felt of not being able to have them actually "SEE" Energy was lifted.  So as I'm preparing for this one, I find that I actually have very little to prepare for.  I have to think when I look around Activerain and read the heartfelt posts on this incredible site, many of us are finding people drawn to us not so much for the way we are able to articulate our words (if that were the case, I would have given up long ago; I have never seen a place with more creative writing in my entire life) but for what we give up about ourselves and the passion we have for what we do and love.  We show our commitments to our clients, our dedication to helping them in any way we can and our energy shows bright and clear to them.  I'm sorry I missed the "point" for so many years on this one!

http://www.FengShuiLI.com

*Carole Provenzale is a Certified Feng Shui Consultant and Founder of Feng Shui Long Island with on site Feng Shui Consultations for all of Long Island and New York City and personalized Consultations for those at a Distance.

When I first starting practicing Feng Shui, there was one "Principle" that I was never taught.  Feng Shui Consultations can be very draining.  I have heard through the years from other consultants that they are able to leave a Consultation and forget it; they do not bring any of the emotions home with them and the experience does not at all drain them.   Unfortunately, I am not that way.

Most of my clients call because they are having issues in their lives; they may feel stuck, have problems with income/money/careers or sometimes it is a more personal issue such as problems in their homes with their children or an impending divorce or one that has just occurred.  We discuss all these things to find out what areas to concentrate on the most at this time, although we address them all.  It tells me where to look, what to concentrate on the most to give them the full benefits of Feng Shui.

It also creates a BOND.  Strangers that we have not yet met sharing their most personal information, oftentimes things that family or friends aren't even aware of.  At this point in my life, there is not usually ONE situation that I have not come across in my own life and I oftentimes share that with them so they know I am aware of exactly how I feel.  What I have never been able to do is simply "detach."  I feel their pain and sorrows and wish I could take them out of the moment and into a brighter future, RIGHT NOW.  But I am not a miracle worker and perhaps they have lessons to learn and there are things that I can't give them an immediate "fix" for; I wish I could.  I find myself bringing home their problems, often worrying about them after and thinking about the consult long after it ends.

And I sometimes come out feeling very drained from all the emotions that come up.  I wish I had learned whatever it is you need to find in yourself that you can leave and just detach from these wonderful people but it's apparently missing in me.  I've been there, I can identify, and I know how deep the pain is and have to work at trying to release it.  I have always had a great admiration for EMT workers, one of whom I used to work with in an office environment.  She would relate some horrific traffic accident she had been called to the night before and after all the trauma and some very badly injured people, they would all go out to dinner.  Thank Goodness for people like them, I always thought!  It's not something I would EVER be able to do.  But I CAN  let them know the sun WILL rise again tomorrow.

I'm sure many Realtors feel the same emotions.  Clients that don't want to leave their home for one reason or another, family issues with selling that may come up during which disagreements occur.  And I would have to think that many of their personal issues touch your lives as well.  At a younger age you can simply say "I hope that never happens to me."  At a somewhat older age, chances are likely that it already has.  I must be missing the "detach" gene. 

 But maybe that's what makes this works so real and passionate for me:  Since I CAN identify, I will do my utmost to help them going above and beyond to help them see a better tomorrow.  And from the others on AR that I have had the pleasure of speaking with I know you do as well.  Whether it's finding that client their "dream home" and then stressing on whether or not it will go through as planned or staging a home and not having it sell as fast as you would have hoped, we FEEL it.  Maybe THAT'S exactly what sets us apart from the rest---true compassion and true caring.

http://www.FengShuiLI.com

*Carole Provenzale has been a Certified Feng Shui Consultant since 1997 and is the Founder of Feng Shui Long Island with on site Consultations for all of Long Island and New York City and phone Consultations for those at a distance.