Feng Shui Long Island's Blog

Thinking about a post for tonight I was wondering if I should relate one of my true "ghost" encounters in a home.  It's All Hallows Eve, after all, the perfect time to tell one.  But it's not one of them, instead it's (what else?) a Feng Shui Post....on VOICES.  Something I have not covered before and a topic I feel is important that I don't believe many people are aware of.

We literally have hundreds of principles in Feng Shui and this story relates to ME in MY house and what I have learned----which is part of the reason I practice the way I do.  There was something that had bothered me for many years in my home and although I've tried to look up the history of it, I can't find it.  I do know it was built by early Dutch settlers on Long Island and that my block is named after the man who built it.  There is a tiny burial plot on my block that is dedicated to him and his family (oddly enough placed right next to a house!).  There were originally two exact same homes built at the same time, mine and my neighbors right next to each other in the same exact style.  They are cottages, actually.  An inline ranch which goes from the living room to the dining room to the kitchen.  The original homes had two bedrooms and a bathroom off to the side.

So what's so "off" about my home?  It's DOORS.  There were doors everywhere.  The entrance door, of course which leads into a "mud room" (door) which goes to a coat closet area (door) which went into the living room (door).  From the living room to the dining room were two double doors, from the dining room to the kitchen was another door, from the kitchen to the back mud room yet another door.  If you wanted to go to the bedroom/bathroom area you had to pass through yet ANOTHER door.  This isn't taking into account the "normal" doors like the ones for the bedroom, pantry, basement or bathroom.

Since the house is over a hundred years old I could only speculate that they were trying to close off spaces for heating; not a very good theory since my living room does NOT have a fire place.  The doors remained up but bothered me, I felt claustrophobic.  Finally I went to school for Feng Shui and was surprised to learn that in the Black Sect Tradition of Feng Shui, the doors are considered VOICES.  And an important principle to look out for.  For example, two door that open together and hit or bump into each other are considered in Feng Shui as "Arguing Doors."  This can lead to arguments with everyone from family to co-workers to friends.  There is a blessing for this and while working with clients when I see it I can give it to them.

But MY doors, what to do about so many?  The first teacher I had taught both Black Sect and Compass Methods and I asked if I could remove some of the doors.  The answer was a flat "NO."  I had children living here and they might felt as if they weren't "being heard."  By removing the doors I would be removing their voices.  The second teacher taught Black Sect only and I asked the same question---to another resounding NO.  They were built into the house for a reason and were to be left, pretty much for the same reasons the first teacher gave.

My third teacher taught us "Western" methods of addressing Feng Shui issues without compromising Feng Shui Principles.  What he taught during class made SENSE to me; you didn't have to renovate (which some people were told to do for different reasons such as finding your Bathroom in your WEALTH area); it also gave me another perspective to Feng Shui.  I finally asked him whether I could take the doors down and he looked directly at me.  "How would YOU feel about it?"  he asked.  I was amazed, would I have a say in such deeply rooted Feng Shui Principles.  "I feel that it would open up the house" I told him and this is what he said:

To practice true Feng Shui, he told me, the further along you go the more situations you will come across.  And while they may LOOK the same, your clients will all be different.  The more ways you can look at one situation will help you be the best practitioner you can be.  Gain different perspectives, see things in EVERY light before making a recommendation.  And don't forget to acknowledge what your clients think and feel.

Take down your doors, he advised me and put an acknowledgement up that they were there.  A tiny wind chime, a small Red Ribbon, something that shows you have appreciated it but it's time to let go.  (This is something, interestingly enough that our other mentors had told us while having to remove a tree, for example).  And see how you FEEL.  It will not remove your children's voices or cause any harm; you must feel in harmony with your surroundings.

I did take them down and I did feel as if the whole house opened up.  I watched the kids carefully for any signs that it may have affected them but they were just the same.  Many people ask me if combining both Black Sect AND Western methods "compromise" a house.  I don't believe it does, not for a second.  It gives a blend that takes away fear and gives inexpensive solutions to Intentionally solve a Feng Shui dilemma. 

Sadly, Western methods are no longer being taught, to my knowledge along with Black Sect and Compass methods.  I was fortunate enough to gain some very valuable insights into how to blend a combination of all the best.  

http://www.fengshuili.com/

When I recounted my first story of a Feng Shui consultation for a lovely client in Northport, Long Island, New York, little  did I realize it was to become a series.  Scared Away with Feng Shui? How I "lost" my client in Northport, Long Island New York   If you didn't read it, it's about a client I consulted with and the things that came up during and after the consultation.  She had heard some unusual words like "Auspicious" and did not know the history of her home, something I always ask.  After  I left her pet had escaped and a neighbor she had never met found it and insisted on returning it to her.  She not only brought her beloved pet back, she brought back a book that had taken her over SEVEN Years to write and had just arrived that morning.  She said later she felt compelled to bring it with her.  This neighbor, by the way, knew the entire history of the house. 

My client started to have changes happen almost immediately (which are recounted in the first post) and I believed, when the communication stopped that she had become a bit afraid of everything that was happening.  The very next morning after posting that blog I had an email from the woman, Carolyn Freund-Nelson who had written "The Auspicious Goat" which was my clients neighbor.  Since I don't believe in accidents or coincidences, I had plans to email my client later that night....before I had a chance to I was signing onto a new website.  It came up with my screen name---and my clients!  She was signing on at the exact same time!  We spoke that evening and she wasn't at all afraid, just very caught up in a busy life.  We vowed to meet Carolyn very soon. Feng Shui Synchronicity at Work---Back to Northport, Long Island

Just before I was leaving for my vacation, my phone rang.  Standing outside was the lovely Carolyn who had brought me her book.  I couldn't believe the kindness and light this woman showed.  As soon as I got back, I thought, I would make it to her house; she not only had an "Auspicious Goat," she had some pretty Auspicious Pumpkins!  Carolyn was going for the record sized Pumpkin ever grown on Long Island and, quite possibly, the largest Pumpkin ever grown anywhere. 
Can You STAND another Feng Shui Post? You've seen the Auspicious Goat, LQQK at The Auspicious PUMPKINS in Northport, Long Island, New York

Returning from my trip and finding issues with the house and trying to get back to a schedule, I did not yet have a chance to get to Carolyn's house.  An email arrived from my client, however, telling me SHE was going away but would I care to meet when she got back?  Perhaps she would host a lunch with Carolyn or we would take her out.  That was only about a week ago and long enough had passed, I thought; I told her absolutely.

For now, it is not possible.  A few days ago I received an email and some pictures from Carolyn's husband, Nel's.  He shared with me the story (and is allowing me to share it with you) of Carolyn's health issues.  She had been having difficulty breathing on and off and they were treating her with inhalers.  Finally it had gotten so bad they ordered tests.  Carolyn was found to have a very large tumor in her esophagus.  Before trying to remove it, they needed to try and shrink it and put her through many radiation treatments.  Surgery is pending and they can make no promises.  I missed a Golden Opportunity to meet someone very special; somehow my house or work did not seem very important.  It's a terrible regret and a lesson I won't soon forget.  I love my work but I love people more.  My house issues will get resolved sooner or later.

I am sharing the pictures with you of this amazing, indomitable spirit named Carolyn who in spite of her illness, was not about to miss the weighing in of her precious pumpkin!  She is an Inspiration to me and I would venture to bet everyone's path she's come across.  There is also a website my Energy Healer had sent me; while submitting prayers for yourself or a loved one, please remember Carolyn in them. 

Unity : Pray : Submit Prayer Request   They are non denominational and free.  Blessings to Carolyn from all of ActiveRain.

Speaking of Halloween Decorations....

A 964 pound pumpkin from Long Island; Did the Pumpkin win?  I'm not sure yet but I do know that this woman is an incredible inspiration to my spirit.

If you would like Carolyn's book, please email BabatheGoat@aol.com

*I would be remiss if I did not thank Carolyn's husband, Nel's, for sharing with me and more then that, for trusting me to write about them; Their spirit, courage, love, dedication and perseverence....words we all should live by. 

What is the Five Element Theory and why is it so important in Feng Shui?  Oh, I know, here's another Feng Shui post from that Consultant that just doesn't go AWAY!  This is a brief overview of what we call The Five Element Theory as it is a very involved subject and I can just give you an overview of why WE think it's important.

The Five Elements are:  Fire, Earth, Metal, Water and Wood.  They are actually the basis of Traditional Chinese Medicine who believe that man is so closely connected to nature and their environment, if something is out of "sync" in your elements, it can cause illness, acute or chronic.  Each Element is associated with several things:

FIRE is associated with the direction of South, The Summer, and the Color Red.  It is also associated with an organ; in this case your heart.

EARTH is the Center; the season of Mid-Summer and your spleen, pancreas or stomach and Yellow is its color.

METAL is associated with the direction of West, the season of Fall, its color is white and the organ is your Lungs..

WATER is the direction of North.  The season is Winter, the color is black and the organ is Kidney.

WOOD is the direction of the East.  The season is Spring, the color is Green and the organ is liver.

Confused yet?  It's an in depth subject so I'll just give you a brief overview of how we address this in Feng Shui.  The first thing we want to have a balance of the elements in each room.  It's likely you already have many of the Elements already but you can look around and see what's missing.  What I often find is the lack of a FIRE energy which stimulates and energizes.  Is there Red in the room?   A balance of the Elements is meant to Harmonize your body in Chinese Medicine and your Environment in Feng Shui.

To confuse matters even more, we need a CONSTRUCTIVE sequence of the elements.  For example, wood will feed fire (constructive) while water will put OUT fire (destructive).  So how do you apply this to your home or office?

Here is a picture of the Five Elements in a constructive cycle:

As you go from room to room (many of us do the outside as well), check first for a balance of the elements.  Then simply see if you can rearrange certain furnishings you already own into a constructive sequence.  Have a pretty picture of a waterfall or the beach?  It's a water element.  It's likely you already have items that can be moved or can address the ones you don't have, say Fire, by simply adding the color of Red.

When the five elements are restored, you are considered to be in a supportive environment.  You need not be concerned with the directions just yet as this can become so complicated oftentimes people give up (we address these with new construction, however) although that enhances it even more.  When my clients get confused (and who can blame them??),  I ask them first to just look for the balance.  That's easy enough.  And take it ONE STEP AT A TIME.  If you'd like to check your personal elements, you can take a simple test; it can show you your primary elements and why YOU might be "out of balance." 

Click here: The Five Element Personality Test

*Please remember this is just a brief overview and not meant to take the place of a consultation, rather just to try and explain why Feng Shui Consultants consider this so important both in Feng Shui and Wholistic Health.

It was the BEST of Times and it was the WORST of Times.  I heard this recently from a Realtor I know and knew exactly what she was talking about.  Many people are saying this right now, Realtors, Mortgage Brokers, Builders...the list goes on.  And one Feng Shui consultant from Long Island.

Putting the worst FIRST has always been a good idea; I can leave everything on a positive note.  My house is still not yet again my HOME.  My own once beautiful, wonderful OASIS is still leaking.  I feel almost as if I have been a victim of a "hit and run."  And know that if I had taken my usual steps to be careful and check someone out, this would not have happened.   I forget and I trust because that is my nature---it is almost inconceivable to me that not only did I sub scum to one apparently great salesman, I fell for all that "Daler" stuff.  As we are both from Farmingdale, of COURSE he was going to do the right thing.  Funny that their motto is "We will leave you satisfied." Really?  When I called him the morning after the rain to tell him I suspected it was still leaking he called me "neurotic."  Fortunately, a wonderful woman who has been helping me through this did not think I was; she came to check with a meter.  The walls were in fact wet.  When I called him back he (despite the meter test) denied it!  And has not returned my calls or come back since.

A day late and thousands of dollars short I did what I should have done to begin with:  I googled him.  And what I found on him was NOTHING.  No name, no address, nothing.....  I am very fortunate that I believe so strongly in the Universal Law of "What Goes Around, Comes Around."  For so many years I have heard horror stories from my clients in dealing with contractors.  It almost seems to be rampant here and I should have known better.  Now I do.

Starting all over I felt overwhelmed.  It occurred to me the other night at 3am as I was wondering what to do, I needed to step back. I was too close to the situation.  I usually ask people "What would you tell your best friend to do?"  Sometimes stepping back and getting out of the picture is the only way to see the WHOLE picture.  And now I am starting to see what to do and how to do it.  It will get done.

Then I had the "business" side of life.  This was a week of call-backs from clients I haven't heard from and wondered how they were doing.  One call came early in the morning and my client (who during the consultation did not seem very interested and did not like the ideas I was suggesting) called to tell me she did in fact make many changes.  Some very big jobs had come her way and she said she knew it was from Feng Shui.  What a delight!

Better yet was an email from a client.  One of her issues that saddened her greatly was that her son had moved out at age 15 to go live with her ex.  I felt for her so much, my son had done exactly the same thing for a short spell at exactly the same age.  His room was being taken over by his sisters and had gotten cluttered and messy.  I did suggest more work in his room then I normally would because I felt he would realize when he stopped in how much he was wanted back.  The email read, in part, "I thought you would like to know my son moved back home and I have you to thank for that; it wouldn't have happened without you." 

Lastly, a consultation I did---with a mortgage broker at his office.  Times are hard and he told me about closing offices, letting people go and he was trying to stay positive.  I asked him about his employees and just by him speaking about each one you could tell the genuine caring he had for each and every one of them.  While sitting in one of the spaces and speaking, I could also hear bursts of laughter on occasion from his employees.  The Wealth area of the office was unoccupied (empty) and had become "storage central."  I did not feel he should move from his present position but needed someone with some very good energy in that spot and needed it cleaned out.  Interestingly, one of his employees had asked to be placed there and he asked me to see what I thought when I went to meet him.

Walking into the owner's office he had on his wall a large picture---one of those beautiful pictures with an inspirational word.  Except his word was "Challenge."  When he saw me looking at it he said that's what he faces every day, challenges.  I asked him to replace it with something POSITIVE.  Find Abundance, Prosperity, JOY but not challenges!  We finished his office and went out to meet the employees.  They were quite taken with Feng Shui after I explained a bit about it---except for ONE.  I notice there is always ONE person in any given room who will ignore the talk and continue to work or worse, yawn through the whole thing.  It used to throw me, now I let it go.

 I found one lady to be what I thought of as the "heart" of the office and assigned her as general decorator.  Since each of the six employees was so interested, I asked them ALL to do some special things from a Feng Shui perspective and explained why...and they "GOT IT."  When I explained about the intensified Energy from all of them contributing, they got that as well.  Funny, even the ONE stopped working and began listening.  I was able to make many suggestions and the person who was to go in the Wealth area was a true bright spot, full of energy and enthusiasm.  Enough to wake that area right up!  They are all going to decorate their areas and watch The Secret.  Yes, it's a business that right now has it's "challenges" but I have the feeling they're going to be just fine.

Sometimes the only way to see the Whole picture is to step back, remove yourself from it.  When YOU are so deeply involved, your emotions get in the way of making rational decisions.  More life lessons learned, this time WELL learned.

I received a lovely email the other morning from our own Kathy Passarette, Creative Home Expressions.  I also recently received a call from lovely Jo-Anne Smith,B.Sc., Belleville/Quinte REALTOR® who was kind enough to congratulate me on a feature post.  It is because of these types of people and so many more on this site that have given me more then I can ever return.

This is not a post, however, about my Journey here on ActiveRain.  It is a journey on the impossible, determination and creating your dreams.  And a special thank you to one person who started me in this direction; the direction of being fortunate to do something I love, to have helped people, to have met the BEST of them.  And the blessings that came from her.

It's been quite a week for me and started with a long forgotten submittal by a wonderful free lance reporter, Janene Mascarella, who had once interviewed me for an article on Feng Shui for a local online Long Island publication.  She remembered me and the article (people are reading that site called The Long Island Exchange and had just come across an assignment to write an article for Woman's Day, the Thanksgiving Issue.  She asked if I could write just a few sentences of thanks to someone as if I were speaking to them.  There has long been someone I wanted to thank and have been unable to locate her.  I sent a few lines with my acknowledgement and Janene was going to submit it to Woman's Day.  Along with many others and, of course, it was up to the editor at Woman's Day Magazine to choose which ones to print.

I got a lovely note from Janene that they had, in fact printed it; it's available online to read Woman's Day Magazine - The Greatest Gift of All.  My Journey to finding my passion would not have happened without this person, Deborah Rose from Sedona, Arizona.  It was 1996 and a well thought out and carefull planned trip to Arizona was finally coming up.  I had every day down, with adventures such as hot air ballooning, staying at the top of the Grand Canyon, A spiritual Jeep tour of Sedona and a walk on the Medicine Wheel, Meteror Canyon and even a stay at the Tee Pees.  Having only booked 3 days in Sedona, my time was short.  The tour bus of a private tour did not arrive and I called the company.  Apparently there had been a mix up in schedules and we were not on the list.  And we were leaving the next morning.  I later discovered it was Deborah Rose who answered the phone and she asked if anyone could take us but they couldn't.  "Don't worry" she said, "I'll come and take you."

To make this somewhat briefer, Deborah did come and she and I "clicked" immediately.  She was wonderful with the kids as well and our 3 hour tour turned into 5 1/2.  Deborah KNEW certain things about me and I realized later she was very intuitive.  On several occasions she asked me if I'd heard of Feng Shui.  I'd never heard of it and kept asking her what it was.  To which each time she replied "Oh, don't worry, you'll find out."  She said I had a "window of opportunity" and looked to the sky....and there was an absolute SQUARE inside the clouds...I had a picture of it but it was during the issues in my home. 

When I arrived home after the rest of the trip, I got back to "LIFE" and forgot all about what she'd said but within three months people were talking about it---Feng Shui--and the first licensed, accredited school was offering a full certificate program here on Long Island.  I went to opening house and I positively KNEW it was what I wanted to do.  I had less than two months and a few obstacles:  I certainly didn't have the money and my job wouldn't let me get the time off for the year long study course.  And who was going to stay with the kids?  I borrowed the money from my ex (who had to say:  "Do you REALLY think you are going to make money at that"??)  I didn't know but because I didn't fight him for anything during the divorce, he lent me the money.  My mother paid the other part and I bless her for it, she has always been one to encourage.  I found a new job that WOULD juggle my hours and someone to help care for the children.  And I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I could never find Deborah Rose to let her know what she had done for me and what she had inspired.  If you read the link, it is my Thanksgiving to her; from HER gift she gave me mine.  And doesn't even know it.  My wish is for her to find it.  Thanks to both Janene Mascarella and Woman's Day, it's a good possibility. 

http://www.FengShuiLI.com

I'm not quite sure if I found her or she found me; no matter.  We're Activerainers and one thing we have in common is that we BOTH love our local fairs.  If you haven't guessed by now, I'm speaking of Lisa Heindel and here's a link to her latest adventure:  2007 Gretna Heritage Festival a Big Success

This fair isn't one I usually go to but it is the ONLY fair my son goes to.  Having my daughter home from college for the weekend (and already tired from the previous fair that same day) we decided to go meet up with my son for a few hours.  This fair is held in Massapequa, Long Island, New York and is apparently a great one that I've been missing!  For one thing, it's even larger than many of the others and we came across some interesting sights but that wasn't what touched a nerve with me during this fair.  It was watching the "kids" together, laughing and having fun and acting just like CHILDREN. I was caught up in memories of all the fairs of the past and realizing one thing:  That while everything has changed, in some ways nothing has changed at all.  This was my day back to the past:

Year:  1987.  Ages 2 and 4.  Time sure flies when you're having FUN!

And at The Massapequa Fair, Town of Oyster Bay, Long Island.  All grown up?  I don't think so.....

I swear this animal is smiling.  He might have gotten at my son's drink.  They had a petting fair with some terrific animals).

Yes, we're still playing with the animals.  Massapequa, Long Island Street Fair, Town of Oyster Bay, New York.

Certainly not camera shy, this one.

A wonderful collection of old and antique Auto's.  I love old car shows.

Little Ballarina's came out to dance; they almost looked like Fairies.

A game I've watched them play a hundred times before.  Laura is already holding one fish Adam won but he wanted a "playmate" for it.  $40.00 later we had two fish (Sammy and Ginger), a little tank and food. 

Things change so much over time while other things stay the same.  I LOVE those days of going back to the Past.

http://www.FengShuiLI.com

For years I have been reading a wonderful website called http://www.hauntedrealestate.com/for further information on the way "hauntings" have been handled by others. I have had to drag myself off that site and little did I know that one day I would be graced to be able to "meet" the person who had put it together, Mary Pope-Handy!  Her recent post A Halloween and Ghostly MeMe (thanks Mike Mueller!)  inspired this post.  In my profession it is NOT unusual to be called to a client's new home or for a pre-purchase "inspection" to see if the home suits them from a Feng Shui Perspective. As a matter of fact, this probably accounts for at least 30% of my calls.  This is done, most of the time without a Realtors knowledge because, quite frankly, hauntings and Predecessor Energy concern my clients; they oftentimes want to see if I pick up on anything unusual or because they have moved into a new home or office and just feel "things aren't RIGHT."  Sometimes it is a financial loss, sometimes my client's notice health issues throughout the family and yes, sometimes they SEE, FEEL or HEAR things. 

Having studied Parapsychology years ago and further studies in Energy which finally led me to Feng Shui, we were made aware of what is called "Predecessor Energy."  This is Energy either on the land itself from past incidents or in a home where perhaps some unusual and not very happy occurrences took place.  Energy, we were taught, leaves it's own "imprint" in a space.  And this Energy often lingers behind, causing havoc in many client's lives.  Some are just uncomfortable and want their space to be THEIR OWN, something Feng Shui helps to ensure this.

I find it sad that only a few clients will mention our consultation to Realtors as they don't want to be thought "crazy."  I can assure you, they're not.  There's simply too many of them and they are all warm hearted, spiritual people.  For example, have you ever noticed a particular home that is on the market every few years?  Oftentimes if you look into the reason a buyer is selling it may be because of a divorce.  Negative energy is left behind and new occupants now are in a space where there has been much grief, sadness, financial loss, etc.  Compare it to the energy of a home that is being sold because the owners have made more money and are moving UP, buying a bigger home; they are leaving under happy circumstances.

This is not to say they all are afraid, as a matter of fact, most aren't at all, yet they are uncomfortable.  In Mary's experiences in her MeMe,  I too have found that Electrical Energy happens in these homes quite often.  Sometimes in addition or separately there are unusual noises they can't account for.  Sometimes there are sightings and many times all the members of the family will experience it.  I know on Long Island and all of New York City and many other places there was much fighting and many unfortunate deaths over this beautiful land.

Do I believe Feng Shui Blessings help to dispel negative Energy?  After many, many years of being called for these types of things, I absolutely do.  So do my clients who are very grateful.  Do I know exactly WHY they work?  Honestly, I don't; the blessings provided us have been passed down from Mentor to Student for thousands of years.  In checking back with my clients, they are thrilled that these "odd" occurrences in their homes have stopped.  So am I!  On occasion, it is temporary and will return but most often, it seems to just STOP.  No, Feng Shui consultants are NOT "Ghostbusters."  But oftentimes, we CAN help. 

I would love for my clients to be able to share their concerns with their Real Estate Agents without fear.  I know many, such as Mary and Jo-Anne Smith are open to these things and I wish as time goes on, all our mutual clients can express them freely to anyone and don't need to keep these things they are experiencing in HIDING.  Next time you go to visit a house, instead of just looking at it to evaluate what needs work, assessing what the price should be and all the other work you have to do, take a moment to just FEEL the space.....You never know if YOU just might pick something up!

http://www.FengShuiLI.com

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I love it when you are able to be completely honest and open with someone; I am not one for "brushing things under the rug."    There have been occasions where people have inadvertently hurt me or caused distress and in the past, I have let them know, lovingly, that while I'm sure they didn't mean to do it and it was completely unintentional, that this particular action DID hurt.  It's in their reaction(s) to being completely honest that I have often run across the following:

Instant denial.  They don't take a moment to think about what you might be saying no matter how delicately you mention it they immediately take it as a personal attack.  And their reaction is to lash back at you, oftentimes with words that have absolutely nothing to do with the discussion at hand.  Most of the time, after a Feng Shui Consultation, the TRUTH will present itself first.

If I have accidentally hurt anyone for any reason, I will always stop to consider and reflect on what they are saying.  Perhaps I was too blunt about something I was thinking or just spoke too fast.  In any case, I know ONE THING:  I will not lash back (which is not to say that after careful reflection I won't stick to my original opinion) but I will always apologize for inadvertently hurting someone.  I will be as direct and honest with them as they are with me so we can clear up any misunderstanding, get it out of the way and MOVE ON.  I will not shoot back with an angry, defensive retort, I will Step Up to the Plate as far as my responsibility of the situation; even if they took something I said and it was somehow misconstrued, I will stop to explain what I meant---and why.

Lashing back at someone when they are being honest with you is not going to help ANY situation which may come up in ANY relationship, business or personal.  If you've hurt someone in any way and they are honest enough to let you know, it means to me they care enough to work it out and give you an opportunity to explain what you may have meant and most of all, to apologize for it being taken the wrong way.

I have found that this policy of total honesty is what gives us the best foundation to move forward.  When you are honest with someone and they lash back without taking any responsibility, they have forgotten a universal principle:  IT TAKES TWO.  And it tells me they are not interested in working anything out, they are ready to take it as a personal affront and go their own way.  Something that shows me is if they're willing to take any of the responsibility and if they are at all interesting in saving the relationship.

The next time someone tells you something you don't particularly want to hear, step back for a few minutes (or overnight) and think of YOUR possible part in this problem.  Step up to anything you may have inadvertently done wrong or that was misconstrued so they know what you meant and always admit that you did not mean to hurt or offend them in any way.  Be as honest and direct with them as they are with you; it takes two to resolve differences and, let's be honest, if people really care about you they won't be so willing to just walk away. 

http://www.FengShuiLI.com

I know I have a different "job" then most but regardless of what we do, we all want the very best for our clients.  Yesterday I had a phone call from a potential client who had an interest (though not an understanding) of Feng Shui.  Most clients do not ask me that many questions, which is surprising.  I believe if I were inviting someone into my home or office I would ask quite a few questions but I have found that they read your website and/or blogs and that spurs their decision to call you.

I was explaining Feng Shui to this client, how we work with the Energy in an environment and some misconceptions about it when he stopped me with a question I have never been asked before and couldn't answer:  "What is Your Success Rate?"  I had never thought of my past clients in terms of a scale or tape measure, and even if I had, would never be able to "graph" their success rate?  Taking it a step further while thinking about it later, would it have meant my success in inspiring them to actually make the suggested changes?  Or being able to give them other perspectives so they can start to look at their lives and situations differently and begin to change into a different way of thinking? 

I make it a point to keep up with my clients but some will not contact me after a consultation.  I later find out they did not make the changes or had taken advice on what to do to change the Energy. I wondered if Success is only measured not in HOW the Feng Shui Consultation WENT but just strictly in the END RESULTS.  And if they didn't follow my suggestions or make changes or were still unable to see things in a more positive light, was it my failure?  I wondered how exactly I Measured My Success.

If you're a Realtor, is it the number of homes you've closed on in a particular year?  Do Home Stagers measure their successes by how quickly a home sells?  There are so many OTHER things involved, it can't be the "bottom line."  You can find the perfect home for a client but it doesn't mean they will get the loan.  You can stage a home the very best you can while always having to work within a budget that might hamper what you'd really like to do that get that house sold.  I can only offer advice and suggestions; I can try my best to inspire my clients to make changes and look at things from different perspectives and I will always do my best.  But I can't ensure their success any more then you can assure YOUR clients that you can simply DO YOUR BEST.

Is there something I'm missing in the measurement of success? 

http://www.FengShuiLI.com

I love this time of year for it's wonderful fairs and festivals all over Long Island, New York.  I go to as many as I can and you can find many of them in all different towns.  One fair I never miss is a wonderful Fair in Bellmore, Long Island.  They have some amazing Handmade Crafts, rides (yes, I still like them :) and of course, good food.  Bellmore is a lovely little town and it's quite progressive which is one of the things I love about it.  It has a variety of old time stores mixed with the new as well as many types of Wholistic Treatment centers.  Looking for an Acupunturist or Medical Intuitive?  You'll find some of the best in this town. 

Bellmore is also a proud town and has built a small but lovely Memorial for it's Veterans.  They have not been forgotten.  Though they often have smaller flea markets here, this is the annual "biggie."  It was a wonderful, picture perfect day.

I love these crafts. There are all soda and beer cans made into trains, planes and automobiles.

This fair carries just about anything you can think of...and some you wont.  Here's a variety of just a sampling of the items from handmade custom metal sculptures to Tee Shirts.

The Main Street and many of the side streets are closed to traffic to allow room for all the vendors and visitors from all over Long Island.

I love the Memorial they have built in Bellmore.

For our World War II Vets.

May we never forget.

Someday I may grow up--not right now, I'm having too much fun!

BLOCKS of rides. Really, is getting "old" necessary?

This is just one of the beautiful animals they brought, a gorgeous calico up for adoption.  They bring a sampling of these lovely animals in the hopes they will find a good home.  I would have taken this one in a heartbeat if it weren't for my dogs.

You can't leave yet, you'll miss the small but lively parade!

They always end with a Pirate Ship.

There was more to do and more to see but it was time to leave:  There was ANOTHER Fair in Massapequa, Long Island and we were off to investigate that one! 

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